Post by Rhaps on Jun 13, 2008 20:38:01 GMT -4
A large brass band suddenly opens up with a huge musical score while the words of the film appear slowly across the screen. 'Rainbow Harvest' is eventually seen in all its glory while many well known personalities from GHW are seen in costume with their names scrawled underneath their picture by way of introduction. Most of the characters are seen before the grainy text floating through space can be seen. As per usual, it has irritatingly been made to fit, making reading of it very difficult. The musical score continues while the message introducing the film floats dramatically by, being of interest only to the very anal.
'A long time ago, but somehow in the future and in a galaxy far, far away, two skeletons lived. No wait, wrong program. Anyway, while the Princess is desperate to outrun the evil Empire to blow up a battle station that looks suspiciously like a moon, while forces are at work to bring a spotty teenager into the fray to destroy the evil and tyranny.
There's also an interesting side story about the disruption caused by these renegade paragraphs floating through space. It caused quite a bit of congestion in the Dagobah system and the subsequent noise woke Yoda up and made his very irritable. But that's for another time.'
The film opens up to show a small spaceship blasting its way through the cosmos while a much larger ship gives chase. Random spurts of laser fire is exchanged between both vessels while they pass by the camera. As the larger ship pulls clear a sign can be seen on the back of it that reads 'Sponsored by Zantazm.' A section of the smaller ship is rocketed by a huge explosion, stalling its progress immediately while the Imperial cruiser descends on its prey, enveloping it as the Princess' ship is pulled into a docking bay. The scene changes to showing rebel militia aboard the Princess' ship taking position by a door and aiming several blasters at it, anticipating the inevitable boarding party. The door begins steaming as something cuts its way through.
Abruptly, there is another explosion from behind the men assembled and Storm troopers swamp the corridor, taking the rebels by surprise. Lasers rip through their ranks, taking most of them out of the fray while the more cowardly ones run for safety. As the rebels retreat, a tall well built man enters the room, a long black cloak flowing behind him. He is wearing a dodgy gas mask from the 1940s over his face as he walks amidst the fallen rebel militia, the cloak billowing out behind him. He looks around dramatically while the rebels acting dead try to stifle their laughter. The tall man begins coughing violently. He rips the gas mask off, revealing it to be Wreckingball.
Darth Wrecker: Bring me the Princess now. And what is it with these bodies? In my day bodies knew how to be bodies by not moving. I need to find those plans of the Death Star that she stole.
As Darth Wrecker finishes his speech a generic Storm trooper runs up and salutes to the Sith Lord. He begins speaking at a ridiculously fast pace, making him almost impossible to understand. Darth Wrecker interrupts him and motions for him to slow down. The Storm trooper nods in response as he calms himself down long enough to try again.
Storm trooper: We've found the Princess my lord but she's not being very co-operative so we thought it best to leave her where she is. But we have got some good news. We have the plans right here.
The Storm trooper pushes a coiled up piece of paper into Darth Wrecker's hands while a shocked expression spreads across his facial features.
Darth Wrecker: You have the plans? What, no droids somehow slipping past with them sparking an exciting yet incredibly dull mission to find and retrieve them?
Storm trooper: Yes sir, you seem surprised.
Darth Wrecker: No, it just seems a little easy. Now take me to see the Princess.
Storm trooper: Uhh, yeah. That isn't advisable. She's not being too responsive and I think it'll be much safer for all persons if we left her where she is.
Darth Wrecker: Come on; just take me to see her.
The Storm trooper looks visibly nervous but he nods anyway and he leads the way. Both men walk through the winding corridors until a roaring noise can be heard. The Storm trooper startles at the noise. He points to a door in the end of the room and he shrinks back to one side. Another blood curdling roar is heard sparking Darth Wrecker's curiosity. He cross the room to the door, before looking in. In the centre of the room is Honey the Bear with pieces of white material hanging off in tatters. Darth Wrecker gulps noisily as he ducks out of sight, leaving Princess Honey alone.
The scene changes to show a bar in a city on the planet of Tatooine. The familiar music is heard playing in the background while a few men are seen huddled around a table. The camera pans across them and the faces are instantly recognisable as Rhaps, Cosmos, Hyper, Vlad and Matt. Rhaps is wearing a white outfit while Cosmos is wearing a silvery beard and long flowing robes. Hyper is stood next to him holding two cardboard masks depicting C3PO and R2D2. On the other side of the table Vlad is relaxing with a drink while Matt is sat next to him, dark green piece of material wrapped around him loosely.
Rhaps: I think we should introduce ourselves. I'm supposed to be called Luke Icewalker but I'd much prefer to be called Rhaps. This next to me is a Jedi, Obi Wan Cosmosi and for some strange reason Hyper is holding the two cardboard cut outs that represent the droids.
Vlad Solo: I'm Vlad Solo, the captain of the GHW Falcon while Matt here is my first mate. You just have to ignore him. He doesn't talk much and a few years ago for some obscure reason he began wearing camouflage netting and insisted everyone call him Chewbacca. But I just ignore it but you can't get him out of the netting. I even tried coaxing him with title belts but nothing works.
Rhaps, Hyper and Obi Wan Cosmosi nod at Vlad Solo and Matt in acknowledgement while an uneasy silence fills the void. Vlad takes a drink, slurping loudly before Rhaps finally breaks the silence.
Rhaps: Anyway, enough of this. I think it’s time we actually let the viewer know what's going on. We need to get a ship off this planet. We heard you had one available to offer as transport and we're willing to pay money.
Vlad Solo: First of all, I need to know two things. One, why do you need transport because I don't want to go on some risky venture that gets my head blown off. Secondly, I'm not interested in money. I'd much prefer to be paid in Taffy. Matt here steals my money and I happen to know a Taffy addict who'd pay a lot of money for it so that'll be worth a lot more to me.
Rhaps: Uhhh, ok. Whatever. I had a bet with Cosmosi here that the Death Star will be orbiting Alderan and maybe was about to destroy it. We just need to get out of here to find out for sure.
Vlad Solo: That's it? Nothing else. OK, shouldn't be too difficult. You've got yourself a ship. Give me ten seconds to finish this drink and enough time for the film crew to set up to tape us taking off and we'll be on our way.
A cool screen effect shifts the perspective to a hangar with the GHW Falcon. The characters from the previous scene are seen huddled around the entrance to the ship talking idly while seemingly waiting for something to happen. Abruptly, Storm troopers suddenly emerge and begin firing randomly into the air. Rhaps swears as he ducks for cover behind Hyper Elf. Vlad returns fire while Matt just shrugs to himself. He picks up some of the netting as he ambles up the ramp, entering the ship. He walks into the cockpit with a book. He opens it up at the appropriate place and puts his feet up as he begins reading from where he left off, leaving the rest to fend for themselves.
Rhaps: Why the hell are they here? Surely we've done nothing wrong.
Vlad merely points at a sign screwed onto a wall nearby. It reads 'It is forbidden to make bets on the position of the Death Star and what planet it’s about the blow up. Also, it's not really a battle station. It's only a moon. Remember, it’s only a moon'
Rhaps shrugs as he runs into the ship. The rest of the characters follow immediately and the ship takes off as Vlad dives into the cockpit. Matt is jolted out of his seat and he lands in a crumpled heap on the floor. He begins swearing under his breath as he picks himself up and walks from the room, leaving Vlad Solo looking nonplussed.
The action changes, showing the GHW Falcon jumping out from hyperspace, suddenly emerging in a meteor storm with huge chunks of rock passing dangerously close on all sides of the ship. As the ship is steered through the maze of constant obstacles, Vlad's face contorts into one of mild panic and his head ducks as he flies underneath a meteor. Rhaps rushes in to the cockpit as the ship sways dangerously from side to side, nearly knocking him off balance as he emerges beside Vlad. The ship jolts dangerously once more and Rhaps loses his balance. His arms flail wildly as he lands in Vlad's lap, sparking an awkward moment as both men look at each other uneasily.
Rhaps: Uhh, um yeah. Well, since I'm here, for Christmas I'd like....
Vlad: Just get the hell off.
Rhaps jumps up and he brushes himself down as he looks out of the window. His gaze shifts from the asteroids floating around them and Vlad Solo who is looking anywhere but at Rhaps.
Rhaps: Just a question, is this asteroid field the remnants of Alderan?
Vlad: Uhh, I don't think so. Look, there it is.
As Vlad Solo points, a meteor moves out of the way revealing the planet of Alderan intact. Obi Wan Cosmosi hears Rhaps' cursing and he enters the cockpit a few moments afterwards, holding his hand out. Rhaps looks puzzled as he looks at the old man.
Obi Wan Cosmosi: We had a bet, Alderan's still there.
Rhaps: Damn it, I was hoping you'd forget. Anyway, if the planet's still there, why the hell are all these rocks floating about here? I mean surely this would cause a problem for shipping standards for something. Somebody has to have complained by now, otherwise they wouldn't be happy. A bit like Puritanism.
Vlad: Just over there, if you look up now you should be able to see it.
Rhaps looks to where Vlad Solo is pointing as he hands over Cosmosi's winnings into his hand. As he follows Vlad's line of sight he notices a small ship dispensing rocks into the depths of space along with the words 'Asteroid Fields Inc.' written across the side. Suddenly, Vlad's attention is captured by something else in the distance. A small moon is travelling towards them at startling speed, locking the GHW Falcon in a rather convenient tractor beam, pulling them towards the battle station. Rhaps starts to panic while Vlad kicks his shoes off and leans his feet against the control panel, allowing them to be dragged into the station.
Rhaps: You're not going to do anything? I mean, it’s probably not a good thing that a ship that size exists let alone us being taken aboard. Can't you at least pretend you care?
Vlad: Hmmmm, I don't think so. I mean, come on. Who's really going to kill off the main characters in the first ten minutes? Nobody does.
Rhaps shrugs his shoulders as he takes a seat next to Vlad. They both stare out at the Death Star while it looms larger and larger on the horizon as time drags by at an incredibly slow rate. Eventually, after an hour the GHW Falcon eventually docks with the Death Star while a host of storm troopers aim their blasters to the entrance of the ship. Amongst them, Darth Wrecker is clearly visible, his lightsaber already drawn as if he's anticipating something. One of the Storm troopers breaks away from the group and knocks on the hull of the GHW Falcon, inviting the occupants to make an appearance. The ramp descends slowly while Rhaps, Hyper with the two cardboard masks, Obi Wan Cosmosi, Vlad Solo and Matt walk down, standing in a line in front of their captors. Obi Wan Cosmosi stares at Darth Wrecker, drawing his own lightsaber.
Darth Wreck begins kicking the Storm troopers out of his way as he works his way through the crowd to get to Obi Wan Cosmosi. Cosmosi nods as he gently pushes past Vlad Solo and Rhaps to meet his adversary. Their eyes lock against one another as they raise their lightsabers, getting ready to attack. There is a tense moment as both men do nothing for a long while, just holding their lightsabers up to their faces while the onlookers begin to grow bored.
Rhaps: Ok, it's been tem minutes already. Do something.
Darth Wrecker: Alright alright, I'd like to see you generate a dramatic lightsaber sequence. That's what we're doing right now.
Rhaps: No, you're just stood there gazing into each other's eyes ever so sweetly. Get on with it already please.
Darth Wrecker's body visibly shakes with anger. He raises his weapon over his head. Just as he's about to bring the lightsaber down and start the duel a phone starts ringing. He groans inwardly as he lowers it and reaches inside his robes to retrieve his mobile phone. After a minute or two of rearranging himself to get a hold of his phone he finally raises it to his ear, breathing heavily through the 1940s gas mask.
Darth Wrecker: Yes, who is it?
Emperor Psychotine: Wrecker, what have I told you about that thing? I can't hear a damn word you say now take it off. I have something important to tell you.
Darth Wrecker starts swearing expletives under his breath as he fumbles with the mask, finally removing it and throwing it to one side.
Darth Wrecker: What did you want Emperor. I was just in the middle of an intense staring contest with Obi Wan Cosmosi. You know how it is, we only get to see each other at Birthday's and Christmas and we have to recapture the moment of our first lightsaber duel.
Emperor Psychotine: Yeah whatever. Can you do me a really big favour?
Darth Wrecker: What is it this time?
Emperor Psychotine: Can you go ahead and hit the self destruct sequence on the Death Star?
Darth Wrecker: What? Why did you want me to do that? We only just built the damn thing and I had to spend a lot of my pocket money on this thing.
Emperor Psychotine: Look, this film was supposed to have ended five minutes ago and it ends with the Death Star being destroyed, so hurry up and get on with it.
Darth Wrecker: Oh alright.
Darth Wrecker hangs up and throws the phone off into the distance looking around at the group assembled. He signals to the Storm troopers to board the GHW Falcon. Realisation dawns on Vlad Solo relatively quickly and he bars the entrance, preventing them from getting on board.
Vlad Solo: Look, I don't know what you're thinking but there's no way everyone can fit in that ship.
Darth Wrecker: Oh come on and let us on board already. You can get everyone that's in this hangar on board and we can be off.
Rhaps: Weren't you supposed to destroy this station?
Darth Wrecker: I'll do it with the Force, Oooooooh.
As Darth Wrecker says this he moves his hands up and down dramatically in front of his face to accentuate the ooohing. He then signals sharply to everyone assembled and they begin pushing their way onto the GHW Falcon. The ship takes off moments later and when they reach far enough out, the station suddenly blows up in dramatic hues of vibrant crimson and orange. The scene cuts to the cockpit with Vlad, Matt, Rhaps and Obi Wan Cosmosi pressed up against the glass uncomfortably while a swathe of Storm troopers fight with each other to get comfortable.
The credits begin to roll as the opening score is played once again, bringing the film to a close.
EoT
'A long time ago, but somehow in the future and in a galaxy far, far away, two skeletons lived. No wait, wrong program. Anyway, while the Princess is desperate to outrun the evil Empire to blow up a battle station that looks suspiciously like a moon, while forces are at work to bring a spotty teenager into the fray to destroy the evil and tyranny.
There's also an interesting side story about the disruption caused by these renegade paragraphs floating through space. It caused quite a bit of congestion in the Dagobah system and the subsequent noise woke Yoda up and made his very irritable. But that's for another time.'
The film opens up to show a small spaceship blasting its way through the cosmos while a much larger ship gives chase. Random spurts of laser fire is exchanged between both vessels while they pass by the camera. As the larger ship pulls clear a sign can be seen on the back of it that reads 'Sponsored by Zantazm.' A section of the smaller ship is rocketed by a huge explosion, stalling its progress immediately while the Imperial cruiser descends on its prey, enveloping it as the Princess' ship is pulled into a docking bay. The scene changes to showing rebel militia aboard the Princess' ship taking position by a door and aiming several blasters at it, anticipating the inevitable boarding party. The door begins steaming as something cuts its way through.
Abruptly, there is another explosion from behind the men assembled and Storm troopers swamp the corridor, taking the rebels by surprise. Lasers rip through their ranks, taking most of them out of the fray while the more cowardly ones run for safety. As the rebels retreat, a tall well built man enters the room, a long black cloak flowing behind him. He is wearing a dodgy gas mask from the 1940s over his face as he walks amidst the fallen rebel militia, the cloak billowing out behind him. He looks around dramatically while the rebels acting dead try to stifle their laughter. The tall man begins coughing violently. He rips the gas mask off, revealing it to be Wreckingball.
Darth Wrecker: Bring me the Princess now. And what is it with these bodies? In my day bodies knew how to be bodies by not moving. I need to find those plans of the Death Star that she stole.
As Darth Wrecker finishes his speech a generic Storm trooper runs up and salutes to the Sith Lord. He begins speaking at a ridiculously fast pace, making him almost impossible to understand. Darth Wrecker interrupts him and motions for him to slow down. The Storm trooper nods in response as he calms himself down long enough to try again.
Storm trooper: We've found the Princess my lord but she's not being very co-operative so we thought it best to leave her where she is. But we have got some good news. We have the plans right here.
The Storm trooper pushes a coiled up piece of paper into Darth Wrecker's hands while a shocked expression spreads across his facial features.
Darth Wrecker: You have the plans? What, no droids somehow slipping past with them sparking an exciting yet incredibly dull mission to find and retrieve them?
Storm trooper: Yes sir, you seem surprised.
Darth Wrecker: No, it just seems a little easy. Now take me to see the Princess.
Storm trooper: Uhh, yeah. That isn't advisable. She's not being too responsive and I think it'll be much safer for all persons if we left her where she is.
Darth Wrecker: Come on; just take me to see her.
The Storm trooper looks visibly nervous but he nods anyway and he leads the way. Both men walk through the winding corridors until a roaring noise can be heard. The Storm trooper startles at the noise. He points to a door in the end of the room and he shrinks back to one side. Another blood curdling roar is heard sparking Darth Wrecker's curiosity. He cross the room to the door, before looking in. In the centre of the room is Honey the Bear with pieces of white material hanging off in tatters. Darth Wrecker gulps noisily as he ducks out of sight, leaving Princess Honey alone.
The scene changes to show a bar in a city on the planet of Tatooine. The familiar music is heard playing in the background while a few men are seen huddled around a table. The camera pans across them and the faces are instantly recognisable as Rhaps, Cosmos, Hyper, Vlad and Matt. Rhaps is wearing a white outfit while Cosmos is wearing a silvery beard and long flowing robes. Hyper is stood next to him holding two cardboard masks depicting C3PO and R2D2. On the other side of the table Vlad is relaxing with a drink while Matt is sat next to him, dark green piece of material wrapped around him loosely.
Rhaps: I think we should introduce ourselves. I'm supposed to be called Luke Icewalker but I'd much prefer to be called Rhaps. This next to me is a Jedi, Obi Wan Cosmosi and for some strange reason Hyper is holding the two cardboard cut outs that represent the droids.
Vlad Solo: I'm Vlad Solo, the captain of the GHW Falcon while Matt here is my first mate. You just have to ignore him. He doesn't talk much and a few years ago for some obscure reason he began wearing camouflage netting and insisted everyone call him Chewbacca. But I just ignore it but you can't get him out of the netting. I even tried coaxing him with title belts but nothing works.
Rhaps, Hyper and Obi Wan Cosmosi nod at Vlad Solo and Matt in acknowledgement while an uneasy silence fills the void. Vlad takes a drink, slurping loudly before Rhaps finally breaks the silence.
Rhaps: Anyway, enough of this. I think it’s time we actually let the viewer know what's going on. We need to get a ship off this planet. We heard you had one available to offer as transport and we're willing to pay money.
Vlad Solo: First of all, I need to know two things. One, why do you need transport because I don't want to go on some risky venture that gets my head blown off. Secondly, I'm not interested in money. I'd much prefer to be paid in Taffy. Matt here steals my money and I happen to know a Taffy addict who'd pay a lot of money for it so that'll be worth a lot more to me.
Rhaps: Uhhh, ok. Whatever. I had a bet with Cosmosi here that the Death Star will be orbiting Alderan and maybe was about to destroy it. We just need to get out of here to find out for sure.
Vlad Solo: That's it? Nothing else. OK, shouldn't be too difficult. You've got yourself a ship. Give me ten seconds to finish this drink and enough time for the film crew to set up to tape us taking off and we'll be on our way.
A cool screen effect shifts the perspective to a hangar with the GHW Falcon. The characters from the previous scene are seen huddled around the entrance to the ship talking idly while seemingly waiting for something to happen. Abruptly, Storm troopers suddenly emerge and begin firing randomly into the air. Rhaps swears as he ducks for cover behind Hyper Elf. Vlad returns fire while Matt just shrugs to himself. He picks up some of the netting as he ambles up the ramp, entering the ship. He walks into the cockpit with a book. He opens it up at the appropriate place and puts his feet up as he begins reading from where he left off, leaving the rest to fend for themselves.
Rhaps: Why the hell are they here? Surely we've done nothing wrong.
Vlad merely points at a sign screwed onto a wall nearby. It reads 'It is forbidden to make bets on the position of the Death Star and what planet it’s about the blow up. Also, it's not really a battle station. It's only a moon. Remember, it’s only a moon'
Rhaps shrugs as he runs into the ship. The rest of the characters follow immediately and the ship takes off as Vlad dives into the cockpit. Matt is jolted out of his seat and he lands in a crumpled heap on the floor. He begins swearing under his breath as he picks himself up and walks from the room, leaving Vlad Solo looking nonplussed.
The action changes, showing the GHW Falcon jumping out from hyperspace, suddenly emerging in a meteor storm with huge chunks of rock passing dangerously close on all sides of the ship. As the ship is steered through the maze of constant obstacles, Vlad's face contorts into one of mild panic and his head ducks as he flies underneath a meteor. Rhaps rushes in to the cockpit as the ship sways dangerously from side to side, nearly knocking him off balance as he emerges beside Vlad. The ship jolts dangerously once more and Rhaps loses his balance. His arms flail wildly as he lands in Vlad's lap, sparking an awkward moment as both men look at each other uneasily.
Rhaps: Uhh, um yeah. Well, since I'm here, for Christmas I'd like....
Vlad: Just get the hell off.
Rhaps jumps up and he brushes himself down as he looks out of the window. His gaze shifts from the asteroids floating around them and Vlad Solo who is looking anywhere but at Rhaps.
Rhaps: Just a question, is this asteroid field the remnants of Alderan?
Vlad: Uhh, I don't think so. Look, there it is.
As Vlad Solo points, a meteor moves out of the way revealing the planet of Alderan intact. Obi Wan Cosmosi hears Rhaps' cursing and he enters the cockpit a few moments afterwards, holding his hand out. Rhaps looks puzzled as he looks at the old man.
Obi Wan Cosmosi: We had a bet, Alderan's still there.
Rhaps: Damn it, I was hoping you'd forget. Anyway, if the planet's still there, why the hell are all these rocks floating about here? I mean surely this would cause a problem for shipping standards for something. Somebody has to have complained by now, otherwise they wouldn't be happy. A bit like Puritanism.
Vlad: Just over there, if you look up now you should be able to see it.
Rhaps looks to where Vlad Solo is pointing as he hands over Cosmosi's winnings into his hand. As he follows Vlad's line of sight he notices a small ship dispensing rocks into the depths of space along with the words 'Asteroid Fields Inc.' written across the side. Suddenly, Vlad's attention is captured by something else in the distance. A small moon is travelling towards them at startling speed, locking the GHW Falcon in a rather convenient tractor beam, pulling them towards the battle station. Rhaps starts to panic while Vlad kicks his shoes off and leans his feet against the control panel, allowing them to be dragged into the station.
Rhaps: You're not going to do anything? I mean, it’s probably not a good thing that a ship that size exists let alone us being taken aboard. Can't you at least pretend you care?
Vlad: Hmmmm, I don't think so. I mean, come on. Who's really going to kill off the main characters in the first ten minutes? Nobody does.
Rhaps shrugs his shoulders as he takes a seat next to Vlad. They both stare out at the Death Star while it looms larger and larger on the horizon as time drags by at an incredibly slow rate. Eventually, after an hour the GHW Falcon eventually docks with the Death Star while a host of storm troopers aim their blasters to the entrance of the ship. Amongst them, Darth Wrecker is clearly visible, his lightsaber already drawn as if he's anticipating something. One of the Storm troopers breaks away from the group and knocks on the hull of the GHW Falcon, inviting the occupants to make an appearance. The ramp descends slowly while Rhaps, Hyper with the two cardboard masks, Obi Wan Cosmosi, Vlad Solo and Matt walk down, standing in a line in front of their captors. Obi Wan Cosmosi stares at Darth Wrecker, drawing his own lightsaber.
Darth Wreck begins kicking the Storm troopers out of his way as he works his way through the crowd to get to Obi Wan Cosmosi. Cosmosi nods as he gently pushes past Vlad Solo and Rhaps to meet his adversary. Their eyes lock against one another as they raise their lightsabers, getting ready to attack. There is a tense moment as both men do nothing for a long while, just holding their lightsabers up to their faces while the onlookers begin to grow bored.
Rhaps: Ok, it's been tem minutes already. Do something.
Darth Wrecker: Alright alright, I'd like to see you generate a dramatic lightsaber sequence. That's what we're doing right now.
Rhaps: No, you're just stood there gazing into each other's eyes ever so sweetly. Get on with it already please.
Darth Wrecker's body visibly shakes with anger. He raises his weapon over his head. Just as he's about to bring the lightsaber down and start the duel a phone starts ringing. He groans inwardly as he lowers it and reaches inside his robes to retrieve his mobile phone. After a minute or two of rearranging himself to get a hold of his phone he finally raises it to his ear, breathing heavily through the 1940s gas mask.
Darth Wrecker: Yes, who is it?
Emperor Psychotine: Wrecker, what have I told you about that thing? I can't hear a damn word you say now take it off. I have something important to tell you.
Darth Wrecker starts swearing expletives under his breath as he fumbles with the mask, finally removing it and throwing it to one side.
Darth Wrecker: What did you want Emperor. I was just in the middle of an intense staring contest with Obi Wan Cosmosi. You know how it is, we only get to see each other at Birthday's and Christmas and we have to recapture the moment of our first lightsaber duel.
Emperor Psychotine: Yeah whatever. Can you do me a really big favour?
Darth Wrecker: What is it this time?
Emperor Psychotine: Can you go ahead and hit the self destruct sequence on the Death Star?
Darth Wrecker: What? Why did you want me to do that? We only just built the damn thing and I had to spend a lot of my pocket money on this thing.
Emperor Psychotine: Look, this film was supposed to have ended five minutes ago and it ends with the Death Star being destroyed, so hurry up and get on with it.
Darth Wrecker: Oh alright.
Darth Wrecker hangs up and throws the phone off into the distance looking around at the group assembled. He signals to the Storm troopers to board the GHW Falcon. Realisation dawns on Vlad Solo relatively quickly and he bars the entrance, preventing them from getting on board.
Vlad Solo: Look, I don't know what you're thinking but there's no way everyone can fit in that ship.
Darth Wrecker: Oh come on and let us on board already. You can get everyone that's in this hangar on board and we can be off.
Rhaps: Weren't you supposed to destroy this station?
Darth Wrecker: I'll do it with the Force, Oooooooh.
As Darth Wrecker says this he moves his hands up and down dramatically in front of his face to accentuate the ooohing. He then signals sharply to everyone assembled and they begin pushing their way onto the GHW Falcon. The ship takes off moments later and when they reach far enough out, the station suddenly blows up in dramatic hues of vibrant crimson and orange. The scene cuts to the cockpit with Vlad, Matt, Rhaps and Obi Wan Cosmosi pressed up against the glass uncomfortably while a swathe of Storm troopers fight with each other to get comfortable.
The credits begin to roll as the opening score is played once again, bringing the film to a close.
EoT
