Post by Magnus Gunner on Jun 15, 2009 18:42:30 GMT -4
Backstage, Magnus Gunner stands alongside Belle Blair, clutching his Extreme Chaos belt and glowing in self-gratification. The seductive Belle Blair slowly pulls the mic to her lips draped in Blistek, and begins addressing the crowd.
:Belle:
Ladies and Gentlemen this is your's truly, B.B. here with Extreme Chaos Champion Magnus Gunner. Now Magnus, first off I have this to ask you, now you two weren't exactly pals but, have you heard from the Proeliator since is release?
Gunner both flinches and shoots a perplexed look at Belle Blair as her question has him quite bewildered. Gunner takes a moment to calm himself down, and wipes his blonde hair before answering her.
:Gunner:
"THE PROELIATOR? ARE YOU SERIOUS? COME ON BELLE! Geez, where do they find you people, better yet what's your deal? Is it that time of the month? Do you need some midol? MY GOD!"
:Belle:
"I was just.."
Gunner quickly interrupts Belle mid sentence, as he steps forward and snatches the mic from her soft, smooth hands. The champion glares at her before shaking his head side to side in disappointment.
:Gunner:
"You were just asking me a question which has no relevance to me! Why the fuck would Magnus Gunner care? Magnus Gunner doesn't give a fuck about the Proeliator, just one less scab I have to worry about on this shit whole of sore I'm apart of.
Belle let me give you some advice, if your gonna interview Magnus Gunner, keep it about Magnus Gunner, not anyone else. Now step aside."
Gunner gives Belle a slight shove, as she and her heels are pushed backward. Gunner then peers straight into the camera, after polishing his shiny championship with his thumb. Magnus once again fiddles with his golden hair, making sure it is straight. His fingers now plastered in gel are rubbed against the dress of Belle Blair and Magnus most recent showing of disrespect and lack of courtesy has Belle Blair somewhat livid.
:Gunner:
Magnus Gunner, how does it feel being the first and only champion in LDWA? Well, Magnus Gunner feels fantastic, and it feels sweeter knowing that the "Rock Messiah" is head and shoulders better than every loser in this building.
But then again...Magnus Gunner is quite unhappy, because Magnus Gunner has yet to receive a call from EVPW. It leaves me to believe that Kingbear, Vlad and Banks are up there smoking some serious shit. Whatever they are on that has got them neglecting to call me up is strong and Magnus Gunner wants some because I need to escape. I'm tired of walking the hallways and seeing fools dressed as Disney Pirates jumping off the fucking walls.
Or dudes dressing up all Goth and shit where their long as trench coats talking about how they are about to bring the end of the world.
And what's the deal with the fucking Grim Reaper? Ladies and Gentlemen, LDWA has a Grim Reaper! O'Colonel and whats his name, give yourself a good old pat on the back. Gunner slaps his palm across the side of his face before slowly but steadily sliding it down. The eyebrows up the "Rock Messiah" cock themselves in an angry fashion, and as the disgruntled Michigan native continues with his rant, his voice intimates that he is becoming only more upset.
:Gunner:
"Listen, being champion is all good and fun, but that shit don't mean shit to Magnus Gunner if I'm booked against third rate superstars. Magnus Gunner is the only shark, the only Main Eventer in a sea full of undercarding clown fish. And they're not even funny.
It's making Magnus Gunner ill!
Listen EVPW, if my drug theory is slightly incorrect, either Vlad is too busy committing felonies, King Bears too busy getting into car accidents or Banks is too busy smoking fake Cubans, cuz Magnus Gunner doesn't have an explanation for your stupidity.
Do you people have a problem with high ratings or sell outs? Do you know how many fat asses Magnus Gunner puts into these seats. Gunner's over like Trojan Condoms, a fucking phenomenon, and I've got more super-stardom than the Packers have cheese-heads!
There has to be a conspiracy!
Blair, what do you think? Is Magnus on to something or what?"
Blair cautiously steps forward into the mic before giving her analysis.
:Belle:
"Well I think..."
Magnus Gunner once again rudely interrupts Belle Blair, as he pulls the microphone away from her and chuckles in her face. The champion then places his palm in front of her eyes, giving her the hand before turning his back to her and continuing his rant.
:Gunner:
"Magnus Gunner doesn't need your opinion here because the question was rhetorical!
I know there's a conspiracy, tis why you can't rely on politics because all the politicians are thieving, snot nosed, lying son of a bitches. Bush didn't tell us he hates Muslims, he said they had weapons of "Mass Destruction." Reeves didn't tell us about the impending attack on planet earth, he just told them they should let him go.
You see Blair, politics is crooked, but you've got to play the game. Tis why Magnus Gunner has to take matters into his own hands. You don't call the company if you want a job, you just show the fuck up and demand it and that's exactly what Magnus Gunner is gonna do.
Gunner's fucking heading out this building right now, and Gunner's taking that long drive up to WNG, think they're in Salt Lake this week.
And the "Rock Messiah" is gonna take that ring, and he's gonna demand answers!
How do you like them apples tuts?"
Gunner plants the microphone into Belle's clutches and anxiously awaits her response. She is hesitant to give him an answer, as she fears rejection but once again she musters enough confidence to combat the over blown ego of the "Loaded Pistol."
:Belle:
"You want to know what I think. I'm thinking everyone is tired of hearing you talk. I think Magnus Gunner just likes to say Magnus Gunner and I'm relieved your leaving! Now we won't need earmuffs because we won't have to hear your irritating voice. You are so annoying! I never thought people could be such Jackasses but you always find a way to prove me wrong Magnus. You're the king! "
:Gunner:
"What, well I outta- ARGGHH!"
With Gunner's final comment of the night, a simple grunt, the exasperated Extreme Chaos Champion storms off out of camera view.
EOT
:Belle:
Ladies and Gentlemen this is your's truly, B.B. here with Extreme Chaos Champion Magnus Gunner. Now Magnus, first off I have this to ask you, now you two weren't exactly pals but, have you heard from the Proeliator since is release?
Gunner both flinches and shoots a perplexed look at Belle Blair as her question has him quite bewildered. Gunner takes a moment to calm himself down, and wipes his blonde hair before answering her.
:Gunner:
"THE PROELIATOR? ARE YOU SERIOUS? COME ON BELLE! Geez, where do they find you people, better yet what's your deal? Is it that time of the month? Do you need some midol? MY GOD!"
:Belle:
"I was just.."
Gunner quickly interrupts Belle mid sentence, as he steps forward and snatches the mic from her soft, smooth hands. The champion glares at her before shaking his head side to side in disappointment.
:Gunner:
"You were just asking me a question which has no relevance to me! Why the fuck would Magnus Gunner care? Magnus Gunner doesn't give a fuck about the Proeliator, just one less scab I have to worry about on this shit whole of sore I'm apart of.
Belle let me give you some advice, if your gonna interview Magnus Gunner, keep it about Magnus Gunner, not anyone else. Now step aside."
Gunner gives Belle a slight shove, as she and her heels are pushed backward. Gunner then peers straight into the camera, after polishing his shiny championship with his thumb. Magnus once again fiddles with his golden hair, making sure it is straight. His fingers now plastered in gel are rubbed against the dress of Belle Blair and Magnus most recent showing of disrespect and lack of courtesy has Belle Blair somewhat livid.
:Gunner:
Magnus Gunner, how does it feel being the first and only champion in LDWA? Well, Magnus Gunner feels fantastic, and it feels sweeter knowing that the "Rock Messiah" is head and shoulders better than every loser in this building.
But then again...Magnus Gunner is quite unhappy, because Magnus Gunner has yet to receive a call from EVPW. It leaves me to believe that Kingbear, Vlad and Banks are up there smoking some serious shit. Whatever they are on that has got them neglecting to call me up is strong and Magnus Gunner wants some because I need to escape. I'm tired of walking the hallways and seeing fools dressed as Disney Pirates jumping off the fucking walls.
Or dudes dressing up all Goth and shit where their long as trench coats talking about how they are about to bring the end of the world.
And what's the deal with the fucking Grim Reaper? Ladies and Gentlemen, LDWA has a Grim Reaper! O'Colonel and whats his name, give yourself a good old pat on the back. Gunner slaps his palm across the side of his face before slowly but steadily sliding it down. The eyebrows up the "Rock Messiah" cock themselves in an angry fashion, and as the disgruntled Michigan native continues with his rant, his voice intimates that he is becoming only more upset.
:Gunner:
"Listen, being champion is all good and fun, but that shit don't mean shit to Magnus Gunner if I'm booked against third rate superstars. Magnus Gunner is the only shark, the only Main Eventer in a sea full of undercarding clown fish. And they're not even funny.
It's making Magnus Gunner ill!
Listen EVPW, if my drug theory is slightly incorrect, either Vlad is too busy committing felonies, King Bears too busy getting into car accidents or Banks is too busy smoking fake Cubans, cuz Magnus Gunner doesn't have an explanation for your stupidity.
Do you people have a problem with high ratings or sell outs? Do you know how many fat asses Magnus Gunner puts into these seats. Gunner's over like Trojan Condoms, a fucking phenomenon, and I've got more super-stardom than the Packers have cheese-heads!
There has to be a conspiracy!
Blair, what do you think? Is Magnus on to something or what?"
Blair cautiously steps forward into the mic before giving her analysis.
:Belle:
"Well I think..."
Magnus Gunner once again rudely interrupts Belle Blair, as he pulls the microphone away from her and chuckles in her face. The champion then places his palm in front of her eyes, giving her the hand before turning his back to her and continuing his rant.
:Gunner:
"Magnus Gunner doesn't need your opinion here because the question was rhetorical!
I know there's a conspiracy, tis why you can't rely on politics because all the politicians are thieving, snot nosed, lying son of a bitches. Bush didn't tell us he hates Muslims, he said they had weapons of "Mass Destruction." Reeves didn't tell us about the impending attack on planet earth, he just told them they should let him go.
You see Blair, politics is crooked, but you've got to play the game. Tis why Magnus Gunner has to take matters into his own hands. You don't call the company if you want a job, you just show the fuck up and demand it and that's exactly what Magnus Gunner is gonna do.
Gunner's fucking heading out this building right now, and Gunner's taking that long drive up to WNG, think they're in Salt Lake this week.
And the "Rock Messiah" is gonna take that ring, and he's gonna demand answers!
How do you like them apples tuts?"
Gunner plants the microphone into Belle's clutches and anxiously awaits her response. She is hesitant to give him an answer, as she fears rejection but once again she musters enough confidence to combat the over blown ego of the "Loaded Pistol."
:Belle:
"You want to know what I think. I'm thinking everyone is tired of hearing you talk. I think Magnus Gunner just likes to say Magnus Gunner and I'm relieved your leaving! Now we won't need earmuffs because we won't have to hear your irritating voice. You are so annoying! I never thought people could be such Jackasses but you always find a way to prove me wrong Magnus. You're the king! "
:Gunner:
"What, well I outta- ARGGHH!"
With Gunner's final comment of the night, a simple grunt, the exasperated Extreme Chaos Champion storms off out of camera view.
EOT
