Human Wreckingball v. Rhaps

[Wreckdor the Wreckinator!]

As the excited crowd quieten down after the end of the last match, there is a sudden gasp of astonishment mixed with surprise as the lights go out in the gym, and a gruff, aggressive but good-humoured voice is heard over the PA.

Wreckingball: Don't worry. This situation is completely not under anyone's control whatsoever... but no-one fuckin' cares anyway. We're all too busy having a great time, and that's just how it should be!

As soon as the crowd hear his voice, they erupt into cheers.

The lights switch back on, but dimmed somewhat to reveal Wreckingball standing in the middle of the ring, a friendly and cheerful grin on his face. As soon as the lights come back on, the song Two Lane Blacktop by Rob Zombie blares forth from all of the speakers and Wreckingball gets out of the ring to greet as many of the fans as possible, talking with them and shaking plenty of hands.

Lizzie: All the way from Warrington, Uk... three hundred pounds of Wreckingball, the Human Wreckingball!

Wreckingball is wearing a black "Bike Week 2005, Daytona" t-shirt with the sleeves ripped off, baggy black and red full length wrestling trousers and steel toed boots. After greeting all of the fans, he gets back into the ring and waits for Rhaps to appear while warming up on the ropes.

[Rhaps]

Wreckingball begins pacing on the spot, throwing his arms around him in loops as he loosens his body in anticipation of the match up to come and the carnage to promises to bring. Many of the fans assembled remember both competitors from their days in Gods and Heretics Wrestling. A fact supported by the various banners in homage to both men and their achievements and endeavours in the last federation that saw both men compete when the lights were on bright. The seconds drag by and the crowd begin to get restless whilst the absence of the Safety Ranger is felt even longer whilst Wreckingball stands looking up at the entrance ramp, waiting for any indication as to the arrival of his friend and opponent for the main event. Abruptly the lights are killed across the building, casting the gymnasium into sudden gloomy murkiness. The voices of the fans can be heard as a few random pockets begin clapping while others shout out in vain in the hopes of Rhaps' arrival and the start of the match. Four spotlights stationed around the ring are flipped on, throwing light upwards, casting four luminescent spots of colour on the roof of the building, generating confusion and angst to stir amongst the heaving mass of humanity gathered around the ring.

Nobody by Skindred splinters through the prevailing quiet, the noise of guitars roaring into life shattering across the intervening space through the building. The fans begin roaring in anticipation, chants being directed at both participants of the match. Fireworks blaze upwards suddenly from random intervals along the entrance ramp and around the squared circle, casting long arches of vibrant hues of red and green into the air before drifting gracefully back to earth. Yet more pyrotechnics are set off whilst the hazy silhouette of the Rhapsitastic One is seen standing at the top of the ramp, his head and arms held up into the air triumphantly whilst his theme music screams around him, re-igniting the pleasure and feeling of in-ring competition. Random popping noises can be heard, much to the confusion of everyone in the building. Silver confetti begins drifting lazily from the ceiling of the gymnasium, falling gently in bright sparkles of silver in the dim light cast upwards by the spotlights. The lights are turned on, bathing the building in light once more whilst the spotlights, are switched off.

Lizzie: And introducing his opponent. Hailing from Canterbury, England and weighing in tonight at 219 pounds, he is the High Flying, Death Defying, Rhapsifying SIC Maniac and the mind of a thousand hardcore matches, Rhaps!

Rhaps bows as Lizzie finishes her introduction of the SIC Maniac, throwing huge grins at the fans screaming his name. He is wearing a bright blue shirt with a cartoon pigeon flying into a wall. Accompanying this he is wearing knee length black shorts with EVPW emblazoned in bold letters at random points in the material. Rhaps throws his hand up in the air triumphantly, all signs of his limp gone after taking much time out to rest and recover from his match against the Hardcore God, Vladimir Strife. He walks down the ramp to the ring, extending his hands both sides and slapping the hands of the fans as he goes by. Many push their hands forwards, small fights breaking out as they try to claw their way to the barrier. A sulphurous residue drifts over the audience as a result from the copious amounts of fireworks used in Rhaps' entrance.

JP: I don't know about you Ray but it feels good to be in a new federation. I must admit I was crestfallen after we were released from GHW but EVPW has brought about new and great things for the wrestling scene. This place can become a figurehead for the whole Indy wrestling circuit and etch its name into the annals of wrestling history.

Ray: I agree with you, though I'm not so sentimental about the whole thing. One question though, where did all of those fireworks come from? I mean, I'm pretty sure EVPW is working on quite a strict budget and that display must have cost a small fortune. Trust Rhaps to overdo things again when a simple sparkler would do.

JP: I've been told that Rhaps bought the fireworks himself and hired trained personnel to set them off at the right moment. I guess he wanted to make an impact for the great fans and to mark the first show with something truly special.

Rhaps walks to the foot of the ring, looking up at Wreckingball towering over him. He offers a wave and a cheesy grin before he bunches his leg muscles, leaping vertically into the air. His feet slap noisily on the ring apron as he lands almost perfectly. He ducks under the top rope and enters the ring, walking over to his old friend. Both men shake hands and talk calmly to each other whilst Lizzie raises the microphone to her mouth and moves to the centre of the ring. Both Rhaps and Wreckingball turn around, surprised. The stand back and allow her to make her announcement.

Lizzie: It is time for the main event. The following match is a Tattoo Needle Last Man Standing Match. The rules are that you must keep your opponent down for a ten count while the only legal weapon is a tattoo needle. The loser will be tattoo with anything as per the choice of the winner.

Lizzie lowers the microphone and nods, ducking through the ropes before taking a seat on the outside. The referee walks towards both competitors and talks to them briefly, earning a nod from each man in response. He holds his hand up, signalling for the bell to be rung. Moments later the bell is heard, starting the match.

TBCB Human Wreckingball.

[Wreckdor the Wreckinator!]

Before the sound of the bell dies away, Wreckingball immediately shifts his bodyweight, crouches slightly while extending both of his hands palm-outwards, inviting Rhaps to a "Test of Strength". Rhaps smiles and nods before locking his fingers in between Wreckingball's fingers. After a few seconds, Wreckingball begins to noticeably force Rhaps down towards the mat, but Rhaps simply rolls backwards athletically while keeping a hold of Wreckingball's hands and Wreckingball ends up sprawled on his back, lying down on the mat. Meanwhile, Rhaps lets go and springs towards the turnbuckle with a grin on his face. He leaps up to the top, but instead of turning around and jumping backwards onto Wreckingball, he signals the referee. The referee makes his way over to Rhaps, with a long, thin object in his hand. As soon as he hands it to Rhaps, he brandishes it and waves it in front of the crowd- it is a tattoo needle. The crowd roar in applause as he spins around and jumps deftly to the mat below, where Wreckingball is already on his feet and waiting to fight, and almost as soon as Rhaps turns around he manages to block a heavy, powerful but slow right hook from Wreckingball.

This gives Rhaps the opportunity to step inside Wreckingball's reach, and deal a few quick stinging chops that Wreckingball has difficulty blocking. While Wreckingball manages to grab Rhaps' wrist and block the fourth chop, Rhaps uses the opportunity to deal Wreckingball a glancing blow with the needle in his off hand, grazing Wreckingball's side and opening a shallow, three-inch long wound that begins to swell crimson almost immediately. Wreckingball grunts in pain, and twists Rhaps' wrist around before stepping around Rhaps and forcing the wrist to his back before pushing it upwards as far as he can, in a brutal hammerlock. With the other arm, Wreckingball attempts to grab the tattoo needle in Rhaps' other hand, but Rhaps manages to keep hold of the needle and also manages to poke several holes in Wreckingball's right arm, all of which begin to ooze blood virtually immediately.

Each stab into Wreckingball's arm leads to an outbreak of fanatical applause from the audience, and after six painful needlings, Wreckingball briefly releases the hammerlock before suddenly locking both of his arms around Rhaps' waist and lifting him into the air before rolling backwards and releasing Rhaps, who crashes painfully to the mat shortly afterwards with the needle stuck into the canvas at a forty-five degree angle. Meanwhile, Wreckingball gets to his feet, wipes his bloody arm on his tee-shirt before turning to Rhaps and attempting a double leg-drop onto the face and chest of the prone man. Rhaps quickly turns himself over, rolling onto his side briefly and avoiding Wreckingball's descending legs.

Jimmy Pate: Well, they're definitely not disappointing tonight... I honestly didn't think Rhaps would ever be quite this agile after that match with Vlad. Wreckingball seems pretty quick too.

Ray: Yeah yeah, wake me up when it's over. I'm sorry, but Wreckingball has to be the most boring wrestler in the universe.

Jimmy: Oh, I don't know. Some of those thugs who decided to invade last week looked pretty dull. Anyways, you're distracting me from the action, Ray.

Ray: And what would you know about action, Jimmy?

In-ring, Wreckingball manages to recover well from his missed leg-drop and as Rhaps gets to his feet, Wreckingball reaches out and wraps both his arms around Rhaps' legs, pulling him back to the mat. Keeping hold on Rhaps' left leg, Wreckingball tucks that leg underneath his armpit before using his free hand to twist Rhaps' ankle and foot around as far as possible without breaking. Rhaps reaches for the needle, stuck jauntily in the canvas ring flooring... but he doesn't manage to reach it, so he contents himself with using his other foot to land as many kicks onto the Human Wreckingball as he can. Several land on Wreckingball's already-mutilated arm, two land heavily in his stomach and one ferocious kick lands squarely in Wreckingball's mouth. Wreckingball twists his head to the side and spits out a large glob of saliva and blood, with what appears to be a fairly large chunk of a tooth floating inside it. Rhaps uses the opportunity to rip his foot out of the ankle lock and squirms gracelessly across the mat before ripping the needle out of the canvas, leaving a large and expensive-looking hole in the padding before brandishing the needle and waving it threateningly at Wreckingball while laughing maniacally and pulling himself up to his feet using the nearby ropes.

Before Wreckingball manages to get himself completely to his feet, Rhaps dives forward wrapping his arms around Wreckingball's waist and miraculously manages to bear Wreckingball back down to the mat with a humoungous speartackle and Wreckingball spends the next ten seconds avoiding as many of Rhaps' random tattoo needle stabs as possible.

Jimmy: This just in... the conditions of the match have been changed. The loser also has to have a blood transfusion as well... probably straight after the match. EVPW is still in negotiation about the cleaning bill, but I think making the loser pay that too would cross the line between entertainment and sadism...

[Rhaps]

Sweat begins rolling down his back from the sheer exertion of ramming the tattoo needle over and over again into his friend's exposed flesh. Some in the front row look away, their stomachs giving out at witnessing Rhaps' savagery in the match. Wreckingball cries out desperately, pain creasing through his body as the needle tip is rammed into his skin once more, causing yet more blood to ooze out and trickle in small droplets to the canvas, staining the mat beneath in bright crimson spots of blood. The Metal Warrior brings his feet up sharply, the soles of his boots ramming painfully into Rhaps' ribs. The Safety Ranger's attack subsides briefly as he begins gasping for air, buying Wreckingball precious seconds. He kicks his feet out again, the leather of this shoes smashing into Rhaps' sternum, driving him back a couple of steps and dropping him to his knees. Rhaps begins gasping heavily, the agony creasing across his sides as his lungs contract and relax in rhythmic strokes and monotonous regularity.

Wreckingball turns onto his side, his hands pawing at the canvas in front of him wildly, his grip slipping on the blood splashed in vibrant spots on the mat. He eventually manages to find his grip and he swings himself to a vertical base. He half turns to gaze upon his opponent, a fervour burning within him, almost equal to that of a religious zeal ready to burst forth in magnificent splendour. He breaks into a sudden sprint, bursting out of the starting blocks towards the SIC Maniac. He stretches his left arm out to one side, his limb crashing into Rhaps. Rhaps is lifted off his feet from the clothesline, his back and neck slapping noisily into the mat as he writhes on the mat from the move. He rolls over immediately and stands to his feet, confusion registering on his features as he staggers almost blindly in a vain attempt to find his footing underneath. Wreckingball's leg muscles bunch as he throws himself into the air. His body contorts as he half turns, his legs splayed out horizontally in front of him. His feet slamming into Rhaps' stomach once more with vicious impact, pain spearing across his diaphragm. The Safety Ranger drops to the canvas, his body falling in a twisted heap whilst Wreckingball's fans stand to their feet and begin chanting fervently in support of their hero, openly applauding the modified Yakuza Kick and the sheer display of unexpected athleticism from the big man.

JP: Both these great men are really taking it to each other tonight. I know they are friends and every time they've been in the ring against each other they haven't held back but tonight seems to be slightly different.

Ray: Well it’s for a couple of reasons Jimmy. The hardcore format and the LMS rules makes both men realise that they need to go all out on each other to get the win. Especially since they've been in the ring so many times. They know each other's moves very well and so they really do need to try something different. Also today is the first ever edition of WNG and so they aspire to go all out since it is a special occasion. Of course both really need to tone up and get better muscle definition.

JP: I'm impressed Ray. That has to be the first real call you've ever made in a match that's contained either of these men. I think today you finally lived up to your namesake and became a real ring announcer.

Ray: Why thank you Jimmy. It’s really good to know I have the approval of someone as average looking as you. It really means a lot.

Human Wreckingball looks out into the crowd, a smile sprawled across his face as he bends down to retrieve the fallen tattoo needle. He holds it up in one of his huge hands, garnering a cheer from them as he waves it back and forth enthusiastically. Rhaps swings himself to his feet, swaying dangerously as he collapses in a heap against the ring ropes. He slumps forwards slightly, grabbing the top rope to stop his continued descent. The Metal Warrior continues to hold the dreaded weapon aloft, stalking his opponent as he inches his way closer. His footfalls sound ominously as he pads his way closer to the Safety Ranger, the audience tense with excitement as to what to expect. Wreckingball stands in front of his opponent triumphantly. Suddenly he brings the weapon down sharply, the hiss cutting through the air as it rockets towards Rhaps. Rhaps throws his arms up quickly in a foolish attempt to stop the needle's progress as it races towards him. He lets out a primeval, blood curdling scream, making some in the audience inwardly grimace. Rhaps looks over at the pain stemming from his arm, the needle embedded in his skin awkwardly whilst blood trickles and drizzles across his skin and falls to the mat in low splashes.

Rhaps' screams of agony shock Wreckingball, a greyish haze casting over his features as Rhaps shivers and shakes, the shock hitting him like a freight train. Wreckingball hovers momentarily before Rhaps throws his arm about, signalling him to continue. Wreckingball hesitates briefly whilst the Safety Ranger's hand shakes seemingly uncontrollably. He takes a wobbly grip of the tattoo needle with his left hand, his face contorting in anticipation of the merciless torment to come. Instantly he rips the needle out of flesh, throwing it across the ring whilst yet more blood pumps out of the wound in his arm. He lets out another huge scream of pain and torment, tears rolling down his cheeks as he slumps against the ropes, the referee looking on awkwardly, unsure how to proceed. The Rhapsitastic One wipes his face and drags himself back to his feet, leaning back against the ropes. He nods to the officials to signify he's ready and willing to continue the match, certainly flashing in The Metal Warrior's eyes. He charges headlong at Rhaps, his arm stuck out to one side as he attempts a second clothesline. Rhaps suddenly ducks his head, bracing his shoulder against the ropes. As Wreckingball nears, Rhaps hooks his free arm under his legs and heaves upwards against his dead weight, rocketing him over the top rope to the outside. He lands with a noisy thud, his skull ricocheting off the concrete from the back body drop, a dazed look glancing across his facial features.

JP: And just like that Rhaps has suddenly got himself back into this match. Wreckingball looked dominant, especially after ramming that tattoo needle home into the Safety Ranger's arm but once again he's dug down deep and found a way to keep himself in it.

Ray: Why do you do this Jimmy? I mean Rhaps gets all the self adulation he needs from the superstars in the back without you drooling over him. If I didn't know any better I'd say you liked him and in that way.

JP ignores Ray whilst Rhaps drops to one knee, his eyes peering through the ring ropes as he observes Wreckingball moving around futilely on the ground beneath him. He nods to himself suddenly as he braces his weight on his left shoulder, powering up to his feet in one smooth movement. The fans begin chanting and applauding the efforts of both men as Rhaps wobbles his way to the nearest turnbuckle. He grips the top rope either side almost solemnly as he places his feet on the bottom rope. He begins climbing gingerly, taking his time as to prevent more pain flinching through his damaged arm. Eventually the Rhapsitastic One stands atop the turnbuckle and assumes his full height; his arms stretched spread eagled in order to maintain his balance. The Metal Warrior beneath him sways to one side as he reaches a vertical base unsteadily, blissfully unaware as to what his opponent is intending. He half turns and sees Rhaps all too late. Suddenly Rhaps bunches his leg muscles and throws himself forwards, throwing his weight forwards as he flips in mid air. He plummets downwards at incredible velocity, his back and feet splintering downwards on the bigger man. Both men fall into a heap as the fans jump up to their feet after The Rhapsitastic One delivered the Safety Bomb. Hundreds of voices lift up into the relatively still air, uttering one single chant. 'This match rules' reverberates around the arena over and over again while both men remain motionless on the outside.

TBC?