Post by TPK/Acid on Mar 26, 2015 21:15:57 GMT -4
The scene opens on a dirt road, a young man is ridding a Harley with his loyal pitbull relaxing in the sidecar. The pair go on for a good mile, or two, before coming up on a trailer park. The motorcycle pulls to a halt next to one of the domiciles, where an older balding man waits, his arms crossed and a look of disdain etched on his aging face.
Mr. Clayton: God damn it Donnie, how many times I got to tell you the rent is due first of every month!? Now, you pay me by weeks end, or I am kicking you and that mangy flee-ridden animal off of my property!
Donnie lowers his head, giving it a slow shake, before getting off of his ride. The dog, who had been resting sidesaddle, follows suite, giving a bark in Clayton's direction before running through the doggy door, into the trailer. Donnie approaches Mr. Clayton, head hanging, looking very pitiful all the while.
Donnie: I...I get it, sir? It's just...
Mr. Clayton: Just what, you good for nothing!? Look, I don't rightly care! It's simple, you pay, you fucking stay! Otherwise you can go live under a God-Damn bridge for all I care!
Donnie: I...I...bu...y..yes sir.
Mr Clayton: Good boy, you're a good kid...I'd really hate to kick your ass out. But, don't get me wrong *Mokcingly* I...i...i'll F...f...f..ucking do it!
Mr. Clayton pushes past his tenant, leaving Donnie just standing there moping. A good minute or so passes, and the tension is cut by a loud bark. Donnie's pit, Brutus signaling for his owner to come in, his head poking just out of the doggy door. Donnie almost instantly perks up, and smiles as he walks into his trailer. As soon as Donnie is inside, Brutus places his large paws on his shoulders, and begins to smother his master in kisses. Donnie makes a sour face, and gently nudges Brutus down, before going and refiling his food bowl.
Donnie: Well Brutus, least we got each other. Oh crap crap crap...EVPW is almost on, quick to the TV!
Donnie hastily grabs a drink from his fridge, and makes his way to his couch. His Television, which he's set up to double as his computer, flashes on. The instantly recognizable faces of Ray White, and JP are seen, and all Donnie's troubles seem to melt away as he loses himself in his viewing experience. In fact, Donnie gets so lost in it, he doesn't hear the tornado siren that blares away just outside of his home. The EVPW fan notices something, when his picture cuts, but he's too late to do anything at this point, as he almost makes it to the door when his trailer is lifted high up into the air, and begins spinning like a top. The force throws him to the middle of the room, where he glances out the window to see an odd series of images, like Mr. Clayton riding around inside the twister on Donnie's Harley. The whole thing stops, quite suddenly, when the trailer crashes back to the ground. Brutus quickly makes his way to Donnie, who begins to assure him that everything is alright. Donnie uses the back of his couch to help himself up, and slowly opens the door, only to be greeted by an entirely different landscape altogether. The pair exit the trailer, and the first thing they notice is a pair of feet poking out from underneath the trailer, a pair of ruby encrusted boots covering them.
Donnie: What the hell happened!?
Luna the Good Witch: Well, you kind of fucking killed a guy. Let's start with that.
Donnie: What!? N..no, I didn't kill him, I swear it was the house!
LtGW: Geez guy, chill. I'm messing with ya, it's not like you steered the house onto the poor bastard. Though even if you did, he was kind of a prick. So, it's all good. Matter of fact, I feel you deserve a reward, and I know just the thing!
Luna flicks her wand wildly in the air, while saying what sounds like random gibberish. This combination of events seems to have transferred the dead man's shoes, onto Donnie's feet. Seemingly out of nowhere, a group of midgets rush over to see what's going on, they see the feet curl up under the trailer, and then look down at Donnie's feet, and begin to sing and dance.
Donnie: Wow Brutus, what do you make of all that?
Brutus: Grrr! WOOF!
LtGW: Damn it man, keep that vicious thing back!
Donnie: Vicious? Brutus, nah. Seriously you can pet him, it's not like he bites.
LtGW: That's a big nope on that thanks. I like having ten fingers.
Random Midget: I'll pet him!
The random midget comes rushing from out of the middle of the crowd, making a beeline for Brutus. The midge no more than extended his hand before he is viciously mauled to death by Brutus, causing the remainder of the midgets to disperse in every direction.
LtGW: Yup, like you said SUUUUPER friendly.
Donnie: Yeah, yeah. Just tell me how I get out of here.
LtGW: Two choices, follow the yellow brick road...OR go down this path lined with death and carnage.
Donnie: Yellow brick road it...
LtGW: Slight problem, The Wizard of Oz is...well he's gone. So, you can go down that road BUUUUT there'll be nothing there.
Donnie: So that somewhat narrows my chances then...doesn't it? Carnage littered road it is.
LtGW: Yup, but if it's any consolation, The Wizard of Bozz is a pretty good guy from what I hear. Well, anyway I gotta drop a deuce PEACE!
POOF Luna vanishes, leaving Donnie and Brutus to start there journey to find The Wizard of Bozz. Donnie and Brutus haven't gotten very far when they hear a rustling in the nearby bushes, Donnie pulls the leaves apart only to see a zombie thrashing about aimlessly. Donnie thinks he's going to sneak away, but Brutus gives them away with a bark.
Meth Zombie: The fuck man! I'm trying to do nothing right now, piss off!
Donnie: Y..you talk?
Meth Zombie: Well aint that some shit! You are about a racist fuck you know, oooo zombies can't talk. The fuck out of here.
Donnie: Sorry dude, you're the first one I've seen who can talk. That's all, I'm sorry. I'll just be on my way to see the wizard.
Meth Zombie: Well shit, I guess I'm tagging along. Need me a brain man, BRAAAAINS!
Donnie quickly walks away from the Meth Zombie, but can't seem to shake him so he just stops and allows the Meth Zombie to catch up, though Brutus growls instinctively at him.
Donnie: Fine, how about a song then? We're off to see the wiz...WOAH MY GOD!
The singing seems to outrage Meth Zombie, who wildly tries to gnaw on his skull. A "Technical Difficulty" screen covers the scene up, but you can still here a struggle going on in the background. A few zaps can be heard, and the scuffle comes to an abrupt halt. The screen goes away, and two men with cattle prods can just be seen exiting the screen, meanwhile Meth Zombie has calmed back down, and Donnie rubs his wounds.
Donnie: Right, NO singing. Got it!
The group moves on, Donnie keeping a watchful eye on Meth Zombie, just in case he has anymore sudden "outbursts." A few miles down the road, a metallic figure stands in the middle of the road, blocking the path forward. Donnie scratches his head, and tries his damndest to push, but gets nowhere.
Totally Fucking Metal Guy: Dude, i'm not moving without some lube.
Donnie: Ah hell no, I don't even roll like that. Fuck it, looks like we are staying put.
TFMG: No, not that kind...look over by that tree there. You see the bottle? Just bring it here, and pour it in my mouth. But just no, when I'm able to move, I am going to slap the shit out of you.
Donnie quickly gets the bottle, brings it back to Totally Fucking Metal Guy, and pours it down his throat. In no time at all, TFMG is mobile again, and as promised slaps Donnie upside the head.
Donnie: So what was that, like oil or something?
TFMG: Do I look like a pussy? Hell no, straight up Jack Daniels! If we are going to be traveling together you need to get awesome really fast.
Donnie: Wait, you want to come with us? But you don't even know where it is we are going.
TFMG: This is literally the only road here, it doesn't take a genius to figure out you are going to see Bozz. People keep telling he I have no heart, SO...Imma get me a fucking heart.
Donnie: Great, just...no singing ok. Trust me.
TFMG: Dick...do I look like I want to sing right now? Let's just go, only way this gets worse is if we run into a lawyer.
The ever-growing group moves forward, taking in the creepy scenery as they trudge along. At one point Meth Zombie attempts to bite Totally Fucking Metal Guy's head, but simply gets punched in the balls for his troubles. After a little while a commotion can be heard.
Cowardly Lawyer: Objection! Hold It! Take That!
TFMG: Damn it, a lawyer...and a cowardly one at that.
Cowardly Lawyer: Hey, you just called me a coward! I am going to sue you for slander!
Metal Guy rushes forward, and The Cowardly Lawyer rushes behind Donnie, almost using him as a human shield. Totally Fucking Metal Guy now starts laughing his ass off, and pointing at The Cowardly Lawyer.
TFMG: Not slander if it's true. Shit, come on we need to get you a pair of balls.
Cowardly Lawyer: Courage, you mean courage...right?
Meth Zombie: Eh, same thing really. You get one, really the other just kind of comes with it.
The Cowardly Lawyer moves from behind Donnie, only to get punched in the arm by Metal Guy, before the group once again starts back toward The Wizard of Bozz. With their goal in sight, the group pushes forward. In no time at all they reach their destination, only to be blocked off by a large wall. TFMG knocks, no answer, he knocks again...still no answer. Finally Donnie has Brutus start barking like mad, and this gets the job done, the gate opens, and the group is met by a midget.
Guard Midget: Who goes there?
Donnie: We don't have time for this...say we just wanted to know if you wanted to pet our dog?
The Guard Midget claps excitedly, and quickly rushes at Brutus only to be cut down in a flash of teeth and claws. With nobody guarding the gates, the group is free to go inside where The Wizard of Bozz is waiting patiently for them. The party approach Bozz, who shakes his head and looks at who he's got to deal with.
Wizard of Bozz: He was told to let you guys in ya know, you didn't have to kill him. Screw it, it's not like I have a limited supply of those short little bastards. So, tell me what brings you all here.
Meth Zombie: BRAINS!
TFMG: I'm tired of having to hear everyone I run into tell me I have no heart. Also, this guy needs balls! *Points at Cowardly Lawyer*
Cowardly Lawyer: N...no, I want Courage!
Donnie: At first, I thought I wanted to leave...but I thought about it, and as fucked up as this place is, it beats what I'd have waiting for me at home. So, I'm good. Thanks.
Wizard of Bozz: Easy enough, Meth Zombie you want brains read a damn book. Metal Guy, you want a heart, hear *tosses him a chocolate heart* and Lawyer, you want courage...two words open bar. Have at it.
TFMG: I'd recommend the Jack Daniels...
Poof, like that a fifth of Jack appears in Lawyer's hand and he downs it. Once the last drop empties into his stomach, he transforms into Saul Ledget and vanishes into nothing. Meth Zombie, not content with Bozz's suggestion lunges at him, and begins to eat the brains right out of his head. With The Wizard slain, Meth Zombie transforms into Chris Dolmeth and also vanishes.
TFMG: Time for you to go home Donnie, you can't stay.
Donnie: Go back? Why, so I can listen to Clayton bitch me out once a month for not paying rent on time? No, maybe it's to be with my Ex-Wife who fucking hates me, or is it for the children she never let's me see!? Oh, I know MAYBE it's so I can work at a dead end job that pays me peanuts!? Because if that's what's still waiting for me I am much better off here!
TFMG sighs, places a hand on Donnie's shoulder and shows a brief glimmer of remorse before plunging his free hand into Donnie's chest and getting a grip on his heart. As TFMG's grip tightens, the metal facade disappears, leaving Vlad Strife standing in front f Donnie.
Donnie: Vlad y...you're killing me!
A single tear begins to roll down the heartless bastard's face as he pulls forward, embracing Donnie. Just before he crushes Donnie's heart like a grape, he puts his head next to Donnie's ear and whispers
Vlad: Sorry Donnie, you're already dead.
As Vlad gives the final squeeze a blinding flash of white light covers the screen, the white then pulls back to reveal a pair of dead eyes. The eyes belong to Donnie who is pinned against a tree, a large piece of scrap metal piercing his chest. Donnie's faithful, and friendly companion Brutus is seen whining at his master's feet. The scene fades as Mr. Clayton rushes towards Donnie, a sobbing mess of a man quite the opposite of what was seen earlier that day.
EoT
Comments welcomed
Mr. Clayton: God damn it Donnie, how many times I got to tell you the rent is due first of every month!? Now, you pay me by weeks end, or I am kicking you and that mangy flee-ridden animal off of my property!
Donnie lowers his head, giving it a slow shake, before getting off of his ride. The dog, who had been resting sidesaddle, follows suite, giving a bark in Clayton's direction before running through the doggy door, into the trailer. Donnie approaches Mr. Clayton, head hanging, looking very pitiful all the while.
Donnie: I...I get it, sir? It's just...
Mr. Clayton: Just what, you good for nothing!? Look, I don't rightly care! It's simple, you pay, you fucking stay! Otherwise you can go live under a God-Damn bridge for all I care!
Donnie: I...I...bu...y..yes sir.
Mr Clayton: Good boy, you're a good kid...I'd really hate to kick your ass out. But, don't get me wrong *Mokcingly* I...i...i'll F...f...f..ucking do it!
Mr. Clayton pushes past his tenant, leaving Donnie just standing there moping. A good minute or so passes, and the tension is cut by a loud bark. Donnie's pit, Brutus signaling for his owner to come in, his head poking just out of the doggy door. Donnie almost instantly perks up, and smiles as he walks into his trailer. As soon as Donnie is inside, Brutus places his large paws on his shoulders, and begins to smother his master in kisses. Donnie makes a sour face, and gently nudges Brutus down, before going and refiling his food bowl.
Donnie: Well Brutus, least we got each other. Oh crap crap crap...EVPW is almost on, quick to the TV!
Donnie hastily grabs a drink from his fridge, and makes his way to his couch. His Television, which he's set up to double as his computer, flashes on. The instantly recognizable faces of Ray White, and JP are seen, and all Donnie's troubles seem to melt away as he loses himself in his viewing experience. In fact, Donnie gets so lost in it, he doesn't hear the tornado siren that blares away just outside of his home. The EVPW fan notices something, when his picture cuts, but he's too late to do anything at this point, as he almost makes it to the door when his trailer is lifted high up into the air, and begins spinning like a top. The force throws him to the middle of the room, where he glances out the window to see an odd series of images, like Mr. Clayton riding around inside the twister on Donnie's Harley. The whole thing stops, quite suddenly, when the trailer crashes back to the ground. Brutus quickly makes his way to Donnie, who begins to assure him that everything is alright. Donnie uses the back of his couch to help himself up, and slowly opens the door, only to be greeted by an entirely different landscape altogether. The pair exit the trailer, and the first thing they notice is a pair of feet poking out from underneath the trailer, a pair of ruby encrusted boots covering them.
Donnie: What the hell happened!?
Luna the Good Witch: Well, you kind of fucking killed a guy. Let's start with that.
Donnie: What!? N..no, I didn't kill him, I swear it was the house!
LtGW: Geez guy, chill. I'm messing with ya, it's not like you steered the house onto the poor bastard. Though even if you did, he was kind of a prick. So, it's all good. Matter of fact, I feel you deserve a reward, and I know just the thing!
Luna flicks her wand wildly in the air, while saying what sounds like random gibberish. This combination of events seems to have transferred the dead man's shoes, onto Donnie's feet. Seemingly out of nowhere, a group of midgets rush over to see what's going on, they see the feet curl up under the trailer, and then look down at Donnie's feet, and begin to sing and dance.
Donnie: Wow Brutus, what do you make of all that?
Brutus: Grrr! WOOF!
LtGW: Damn it man, keep that vicious thing back!
Donnie: Vicious? Brutus, nah. Seriously you can pet him, it's not like he bites.
LtGW: That's a big nope on that thanks. I like having ten fingers.
Random Midget: I'll pet him!
The random midget comes rushing from out of the middle of the crowd, making a beeline for Brutus. The midge no more than extended his hand before he is viciously mauled to death by Brutus, causing the remainder of the midgets to disperse in every direction.
LtGW: Yup, like you said SUUUUPER friendly.
Donnie: Yeah, yeah. Just tell me how I get out of here.
LtGW: Two choices, follow the yellow brick road...OR go down this path lined with death and carnage.
Donnie: Yellow brick road it...
LtGW: Slight problem, The Wizard of Oz is...well he's gone. So, you can go down that road BUUUUT there'll be nothing there.
Donnie: So that somewhat narrows my chances then...doesn't it? Carnage littered road it is.
LtGW: Yup, but if it's any consolation, The Wizard of Bozz is a pretty good guy from what I hear. Well, anyway I gotta drop a deuce PEACE!
POOF Luna vanishes, leaving Donnie and Brutus to start there journey to find The Wizard of Bozz. Donnie and Brutus haven't gotten very far when they hear a rustling in the nearby bushes, Donnie pulls the leaves apart only to see a zombie thrashing about aimlessly. Donnie thinks he's going to sneak away, but Brutus gives them away with a bark.
Meth Zombie: The fuck man! I'm trying to do nothing right now, piss off!
Donnie: Y..you talk?
Meth Zombie: Well aint that some shit! You are about a racist fuck you know, oooo zombies can't talk. The fuck out of here.
Donnie: Sorry dude, you're the first one I've seen who can talk. That's all, I'm sorry. I'll just be on my way to see the wizard.
Meth Zombie: Well shit, I guess I'm tagging along. Need me a brain man, BRAAAAINS!
Donnie quickly walks away from the Meth Zombie, but can't seem to shake him so he just stops and allows the Meth Zombie to catch up, though Brutus growls instinctively at him.
Donnie: Fine, how about a song then? We're off to see the wiz...WOAH MY GOD!
The singing seems to outrage Meth Zombie, who wildly tries to gnaw on his skull. A "Technical Difficulty" screen covers the scene up, but you can still here a struggle going on in the background. A few zaps can be heard, and the scuffle comes to an abrupt halt. The screen goes away, and two men with cattle prods can just be seen exiting the screen, meanwhile Meth Zombie has calmed back down, and Donnie rubs his wounds.
Donnie: Right, NO singing. Got it!
The group moves on, Donnie keeping a watchful eye on Meth Zombie, just in case he has anymore sudden "outbursts." A few miles down the road, a metallic figure stands in the middle of the road, blocking the path forward. Donnie scratches his head, and tries his damndest to push, but gets nowhere.
Totally Fucking Metal Guy: Dude, i'm not moving without some lube.
Donnie: Ah hell no, I don't even roll like that. Fuck it, looks like we are staying put.
TFMG: No, not that kind...look over by that tree there. You see the bottle? Just bring it here, and pour it in my mouth. But just no, when I'm able to move, I am going to slap the shit out of you.
Donnie quickly gets the bottle, brings it back to Totally Fucking Metal Guy, and pours it down his throat. In no time at all, TFMG is mobile again, and as promised slaps Donnie upside the head.
Donnie: So what was that, like oil or something?
TFMG: Do I look like a pussy? Hell no, straight up Jack Daniels! If we are going to be traveling together you need to get awesome really fast.
Donnie: Wait, you want to come with us? But you don't even know where it is we are going.
TFMG: This is literally the only road here, it doesn't take a genius to figure out you are going to see Bozz. People keep telling he I have no heart, SO...Imma get me a fucking heart.
Donnie: Great, just...no singing ok. Trust me.
TFMG: Dick...do I look like I want to sing right now? Let's just go, only way this gets worse is if we run into a lawyer.
The ever-growing group moves forward, taking in the creepy scenery as they trudge along. At one point Meth Zombie attempts to bite Totally Fucking Metal Guy's head, but simply gets punched in the balls for his troubles. After a little while a commotion can be heard.
Cowardly Lawyer: Objection! Hold It! Take That!
TFMG: Damn it, a lawyer...and a cowardly one at that.
Cowardly Lawyer: Hey, you just called me a coward! I am going to sue you for slander!
Metal Guy rushes forward, and The Cowardly Lawyer rushes behind Donnie, almost using him as a human shield. Totally Fucking Metal Guy now starts laughing his ass off, and pointing at The Cowardly Lawyer.
TFMG: Not slander if it's true. Shit, come on we need to get you a pair of balls.
Cowardly Lawyer: Courage, you mean courage...right?
Meth Zombie: Eh, same thing really. You get one, really the other just kind of comes with it.
The Cowardly Lawyer moves from behind Donnie, only to get punched in the arm by Metal Guy, before the group once again starts back toward The Wizard of Bozz. With their goal in sight, the group pushes forward. In no time at all they reach their destination, only to be blocked off by a large wall. TFMG knocks, no answer, he knocks again...still no answer. Finally Donnie has Brutus start barking like mad, and this gets the job done, the gate opens, and the group is met by a midget.
Guard Midget: Who goes there?
Donnie: We don't have time for this...say we just wanted to know if you wanted to pet our dog?
The Guard Midget claps excitedly, and quickly rushes at Brutus only to be cut down in a flash of teeth and claws. With nobody guarding the gates, the group is free to go inside where The Wizard of Bozz is waiting patiently for them. The party approach Bozz, who shakes his head and looks at who he's got to deal with.
Wizard of Bozz: He was told to let you guys in ya know, you didn't have to kill him. Screw it, it's not like I have a limited supply of those short little bastards. So, tell me what brings you all here.
Meth Zombie: BRAINS!
TFMG: I'm tired of having to hear everyone I run into tell me I have no heart. Also, this guy needs balls! *Points at Cowardly Lawyer*
Cowardly Lawyer: N...no, I want Courage!
Donnie: At first, I thought I wanted to leave...but I thought about it, and as fucked up as this place is, it beats what I'd have waiting for me at home. So, I'm good. Thanks.
Wizard of Bozz: Easy enough, Meth Zombie you want brains read a damn book. Metal Guy, you want a heart, hear *tosses him a chocolate heart* and Lawyer, you want courage...two words open bar. Have at it.
TFMG: I'd recommend the Jack Daniels...
Poof, like that a fifth of Jack appears in Lawyer's hand and he downs it. Once the last drop empties into his stomach, he transforms into Saul Ledget and vanishes into nothing. Meth Zombie, not content with Bozz's suggestion lunges at him, and begins to eat the brains right out of his head. With The Wizard slain, Meth Zombie transforms into Chris Dolmeth and also vanishes.
TFMG: Time for you to go home Donnie, you can't stay.
Donnie: Go back? Why, so I can listen to Clayton bitch me out once a month for not paying rent on time? No, maybe it's to be with my Ex-Wife who fucking hates me, or is it for the children she never let's me see!? Oh, I know MAYBE it's so I can work at a dead end job that pays me peanuts!? Because if that's what's still waiting for me I am much better off here!
TFMG sighs, places a hand on Donnie's shoulder and shows a brief glimmer of remorse before plunging his free hand into Donnie's chest and getting a grip on his heart. As TFMG's grip tightens, the metal facade disappears, leaving Vlad Strife standing in front f Donnie.
Donnie: Vlad y...you're killing me!
A single tear begins to roll down the heartless bastard's face as he pulls forward, embracing Donnie. Just before he crushes Donnie's heart like a grape, he puts his head next to Donnie's ear and whispers
Vlad: Sorry Donnie, you're already dead.
As Vlad gives the final squeeze a blinding flash of white light covers the screen, the white then pulls back to reveal a pair of dead eyes. The eyes belong to Donnie who is pinned against a tree, a large piece of scrap metal piercing his chest. Donnie's faithful, and friendly companion Brutus is seen whining at his master's feet. The scene fades as Mr. Clayton rushes towards Donnie, a sobbing mess of a man quite the opposite of what was seen earlier that day.
EoT
Comments welcomed
