Main Event - Agent Shadow vs. Kasabian Stalker

[Vladimir Strife]

Due by Friday, March 20th 9PM Eastern

[Chris Pyro]

The fans in the Jared Nathan Memorial Arena chant and scream in excitement for the nights events so far. Suddenly, a voice comes over the PA System as if it's been plugged into a radio saying "Project Rebirth" before "Special Op" by Adam Massacre begins to play as the fans give a loud reaction to the theme. Some of the crowd turns to one of the pathways for the fans as Agent Shadow, Chris Pyro, and Chloe "Skie" Reinhardt emerge from the breezeway. Agent Shadow is clad in black SWAT boots, black cargo pants, and a combat vest with a white spider on it, a black, long sleeve underarmour shirt underneath the vest. His face covered with a featureless black mask, only having white outlines to his eyes. Pyro is dressed in a similar attire, his face covered in a half-mask with a painted on grin and Skie is decked out in a loose high collar shirt, dark pants and boots with fingerless gloves, her hair in a tight ponytail.

Lizzie Morna:
The following contest is an I Quit Match. Coming to the ring first, weighing in a two hundred forty pounds. Being accompanied by Chris Pyro and Chloe "Skie" Reinhardt. He represents Project Rebirth, Agent Shadow!

Pate:
Looks like Chris Pyro's army is growing. Chloe seems to be a new recruit as some form of intelligence officer for Chris Pyro, bringing him that file on Grockadoc.

White:
Why did her have to go and add her? I'd be more than capable of doing whatever she does!

Project Rebirth reach the guardrail, Shadow slowly makes his way over, eying everyone around him while Chris Pyro quickly lifts himself over followed by Chloe. Agent Shadow climbs to a turnbuckle and looks over the crowd, who are chanting for the group of militants while Pyro and Chloe talk on the apron. Shadow steps onto the top rope, stepping over and landing inside the ring as all three Project Rebirth members huddle in the turnbuckle, awaiting the start of the match.

[Kasabian Stalker]

The trio do not have to wait long.

Soon, "Bones" by The Killers begins to play, the metallic voice and cheesy synthesiser announcing the arrival of everybody's favourite Pervert. Kasabian saunters into the arena soon after the verse hits, dressed in a towel, his body still dripping wet with water as if he had just stepped out of the shower. He casts a glance over the ringside area, winking at a particularly aesthetically pleasing object of desire on both the left and right hand sides of the entrance ramp. Receiving the expected look of disgust in return from both women, he turns his attention to the ring, where Lizzie Morna waits alongside his opponent and Pyro's crew.

Lizzie Morna:
"Introducing secondly... He is the man known as the Pervert, Kasabian Stalker"

Kasabian shoots an invisible pair of pistols at her, winking as he does so at the sound of his name. He continues the trek to the ring without distraction, before taking the steps up to the ring apron and dry humping the corner ring post in welcome.

Ray White:
"Oh lordy... After last week's splendid performance, I can't wait to see what Kassy has in store for us tonight."

Jimmy Pate:
"After last week's performance, I have the censors on speed dial. I am not sure exactly how much of 'Everybody's Favourite Pervert' we will be able to show you tonight. Not if he flops 'Little Kasabian' out like he did last week."

Ray White:
"I might faint from excitement, just the memory is enough!"

The Perverted One slips into the ring, ignoring both Pyro and Shadow and making a beeline for the tasty looking newcomer to Project Rebirth. Whipping his towel off to reveal tighter-than-required pink and purple polka dotted trunks, Kasabian winks at Skie Reinhardt and runs his hands over his torso, to which she simply takes a step back and flanks herself behind the shoulder of her leader, Chris Pyro. The once-ninja steps forward to intervene, but is redirected to ringside by the match official, along with Chloe.

As they leave the ring, Kasabian mimics taking photographs of Skie's butt with an invisible camera, licking his lips as he does so. It is all that Agent Shadow needs to get the party started. Coming to the defense of his ally's honour, Shadow blindsides Kasabian faster than the Perverted One can put the invisible camera back into its invisible case. His shoulder charge sends Kasabian sprawling to the mat, mimicking frustration at dropping the non-existent camera in the process. The referee calls for the bell, officially calling this contest ON!

*DING, DING, DING*

Kasabian is quick to scramble back to his feet, but the trip to the mat had given Shadow enough time to adopt a fighting stance. The ex-special forces soldier closes the gap between the men, as per his hand-to-hand training. The shorter distance cuts Kasabian off from getting forth any punches or strikes, but allows Shadow to work his opponent with the use of his elbows. Two swift elbow strikes to the side of Kasabian's head see water that still adorns his scalp flick off and lather the mat with a mixture of water, sweat and baby oil. Staggered from the rapid elbow strikes, Kasabian takes a step backwards only to open up his body for a further barrage. Agent Shadow unloads a barrage of brutal body blows that rock Kasabian to the core. Three shots to the ribs bring Stalker to his hands and knees, wheezing as he sucks in precious oxygen.

The Pervert looks up with a smile, despite the pain searing through his body. He licks his lips as a direct challenge to the Black-Ops operative to bring his worst. One could almost see Agent Shadow smiling beneath the mask that hides his identity. Stepping forward, he obliges, aiming a Punt Kick at Kasabian's skull that drops him faster than a head on collision with a semi.

Jimmy Pate:
"Agent Shadow is not here to mess around. He has no time for Kasabian's antics and sends a direct message to the Pervert."

Ray White:
"That is a man you would not want to meet in a dark alley, he just picked Kasabian apart piece by piece..."

Jimmy Pate:
"It is like watching art unravel. Two head strikes to stagger the target, a series of body blows to bring him to his knees, then the brutal Punt Kick that seals the deal. Kasabian looks like he is plain out. This could be the fastest match in EVPW history."

Smiling from the outside of the ring, Chris Pyro is the one to hand the microphone to his loyal agent. Shadow takes the microphone in his hands and holds it up to the part of his mask where the mouth should be. With one hand, he wraps Kasabian around the neck under his elbow and hoists his head into the air. In a gruff voice, the Agent calls Stalker out.

"This is not one of your games, Pervert. Just quit and this will all be over."

Kasabian doesn't appear to be too fazed by Shadow's request. He does not yield, he does not quit. His eyes remain as closed as his mouth. Kasabian Stalker is out cold.


Jimmy Pate:
"There is one factor that Agent Shadow didn't take into consideration. How is he supposed to elicit a response from Stalker if the Pervert is unconscious?"

Ray White:
"He can't quit if he is out cold. That is true."

Knowing that he is not going to get anywhere with his current tactic, Shadow drops the microphone and places both hands around the neck of the Pervert. He lifts the Butcher to his feet in the Double Choke Hold, before driving him backwards into the turnbuckle. Leaving Stalker staggered in the corner, supported only by his makeshift seat on the second turnbuckle itself, Shadow backs up across the ring to generate distance between the men. Then, Shadow comes charging back, aiming a black-clad arm at his opponent and catching him directly in a Corner Clothesline that rocks Kasabian to the core once again. The impact lifts Kasabian's feet up off the canvas and into the air, his shoulders forced up and over the turnbuckle almost to the point of toppling to the ring apron, but the Pervert eventually rights himself and comes back to land with two feet on the ground... Straight into a waiting Uppercut from Agent Shadow.

The Uppercut catches Kasabian directly on the chin, before sliding up to tickle his nose before Kasabian's body crumples to a heap underneath the turnbuckle. The shot is enough to bloody Kasabian's nose, crimson liquid seeping out from both nostrils as he lies uncomfortably on the canvas. Unceremoniously, Agent Shadow simply kicks Kasabian onto his back before turning to his mentour, Chris Pyro for advice with what to do with the dead weight of the oiled up Pervert under his feet.

Jimmy Pate:
"Kasabian Stalker is just being totally dismantled out there tonight. Right from the word go, Agent Shadow has come out of the blocks like a man on a mission. He does not look set to relent at all, not while Stalker is still breathing."

Ray White:
"But he needs to find a way to wake Kasabian up before he can get him to quit. There are no pinfalls, one does not win by knocking out the opponent. Do you have any smelling salts you can lend him JP?"

Jimmy Pate:
"Errr... No. Fresh out of smelling salts Ray."

Shadow receives fresh instructions by an animated Chris Pyro, with Skie looking on and smiling at what is being shared between the pair. Pyro points furiously at the crumpled heap that is Kasabian Stalker, directing his man back into the match at hand. Shadow is quick to respond. He charges over and lifts Kasabian up off the mat. Locking him into a one armed grapple, Shadow then uses the other hand to proceed to slap Stalker about the face, hoping to wake his opponent up. A second slap follows the first, then a third, before Kasabian's eyes flicker. Shadow notices the flicker and hooks Kasabian into a Suplex position, readying him for another onslaught.

However, when he goes to hoist Kasabian into the air, he meets only resistance. Looking at his opponent, he finds Kasabian not with eyes closed but very much open. Blood pours from his nose, over his lips and into his mouth. Fire fills his eyes. Kasabian simply leans into the Suplex and proceeds to Headbutt Agent Shadow. The unexpected resurgence in Stalker takes Shadow by surprise, and the Headbutt hits home with no defense offered. A second Headbutt follows the first, then a third. Each shot seems to gain in sting and venom as it crosses over from Kasabian to Shadow. After three brutal Headbutts, Kasabian ups the ante, launching into a flurry of rapid Headbutts that see Agent Shadow staggering backwards across the ring into the ring ropes. Stalker lands some fifteen or twenty Headbutts in less than ten seconds, leaving Shadow and Project Rebirth shocked and staggered.

An Irish Whip sees Agent Shadow slam chest first into the turnbuckle with enough force to knock the wind out of him. Kasabian soon follows, spitting out blood on his way to grab shadow by the mask. He wrenches his opponents head and drives him towards the mat near the turnbuckle. With brutality, Kasabian Stalker disposes of Agent Stalker by drilling him head first in a Neckbreaker, directly into the bottom rung of the turnbuckle.

The dull thud of skull meeting the padding of the turnbuckle, sending waves of awe-filled gasping through the capacity crowd of the Jared Nathan Memorial Arena.


Jimmy Pate:

"Where the hell did that come from?! One moment, Kasabian Stalker looks like he is set for a hospital bed, the next... He is drilling Agent Shadow's skull into the bottom turnbuckle."



Ray White:

"It wasn't Shadow's slaps that woke Kasabian up, but the taste of blood in his mouth. Now, Shadow has awoken the Butcher."


Jimmy Pate:

"Chris Pyro looks livid at ringside and I don't blame him. Shadow had this in the bag, and now Kasabian Stalker looks to have shifted the momentum in his own direction."



TBC Shadow

[Chris Pyro]

Agent Shadow lays there holding his neck as Kasabian Stalker stands above him, shaking his head and licking the blood off his lips. Stalker grabs Shadow by his mask, lifting him to his feet. He grabs the Special Operator by the wrist to whip him across the ring, to the turnbuckle closer to Project Rebirth. Kasabian charges over, returning Shadow's favour and hitting him with a clothesline. The Butcher leers over the ropes, down at Skie and blows her a kiss, which Pyro reacts by standing in between the two, and threatens Kasabian to stay focused on his opponent in the ring. Kasabian smiles as he grabs onto Shadow's head in a head lock, pulling him out of the corner a little bit. Kasabian then grabs him by the head, quickly throwing his own head into that of the Black Spider. This puts the Agent of Project Rebirth on his ass in the turnbuckle, dazed and really confused. Kasabian backs away a little, and begins rotating his hips suggestively at Shadow before charging in. Kasabian leaps into the air and throws his crotch right into the face of the Militant. Kasabian begins bumping and grinding on Shadow's chest and face, making sure his Little Kasabian is rubbed into the face of his opponent, disgracing the former soldier.

Pate:
That's just not a way to treat a soldier! That is completely disrespectful.

White:
*drooling like a school girl at a Justin Beiber concert* How can it be wrong, when it just seems so right?! KASABIAN, PLEASE, COME HERE! I WANT YOU TO DO THAT TO ME!

Kasabian remains on the chest of his Militant opponent. He suggestively waves his finger at Lizzie Morna, to bring him a microphone. She follows his instructions, but stays just far enough away to keep Stalker from doing anything else. Kasabian lifts the mic to his mouth, while continuing to grind his balls into Shadows face, moaning while he does so.

Stalker:
How about it, big boy?! How about you give up to Little Kasabian and this will all be over with.

Stalker places the microphone into Agent Shadow's face, continuing his grinding.

Shadow:
No wonder the girls laugh when you're around. I've seen bigger balls on a neutered hamster.

Stalker seems enraged by the insult, getting to his feet and stomping down onto the face of his opponent. Kasabian grabs onto the head of Shadow, lifting him up and driving the mic into the forehead of the Militant Soldier of Project Rebirth. Shadow crumbles to the mat, holding his head in pain as he rolls out of the ring. Chloe runs over to check on her war buddy. Shadow shakes his head as Skie pads around his head checking for injury. Unbeknownst to her, Kasabian Stalker has slid out of the ring and ogles her butt. Kasabian takes it upon himself to make sure she knows how nice he finds her derriere, grabbing a nice handful. Chloe screams at the contact which wakes Shadow up, who blasts him with a brutal forearm. Shadow grabs onto the Pervert, tossing him head first into the guardrail. The impact of such a toss moves the rail back a few inches into the fans who cheer the action on. Pyro walks over to Chloe getting in between her and Stalker, moving away from the action as Shadow stomps down onto the head of his opponent, as he thinks of a plan of attack.

Pate:
Looks like Kasabian crossed a line there, grabbing Chloe's ass like he did.

White:
What does he see in her?! Why won't he pay that kind of attention to me?

Shadow grabs Kasabian by his cue ball like head, and tosses him into the ring. Agent Shadow then ducks under the ring, looking for toys to play with for this I Quit match. After a few moments he emerges from the dark depths of the under side of the ring with a left over from the EVPW return show, the Dildo bull rope. Agent Shadow looks over at his Commander, the confusion on his masked face is clearly evident as he slides into the ring. Shadow stands over his opponent as he tries to get to his feet. Agent Shadow kicks Stalker in the ribs, forcing him over to his back. Shadow steps onto the ankle of Stalker, and grabbing his free ankle, separating the mans legs. Shadow looks down at little Kasabian, and then looks to the dildo in his hand, then to the fans in the Jared Nathan Memorial Arena, and shrugs his shoulders as if to say "Oh well" and slaps Little Kasabian with the dildo.

Pate:
that looks to be the biggest thing that Kasabian Stalker has ever had between his legs!

White:
How dare you talk about Kasabian that way!