No DQ - Mouthman vs. Matt Acid

[Vladimir Strife]

Due: February 24th, 9:00PM Pacific/12:00AM Eastern

[TPK/Acid]

Tension builds, as the two warriors stand across the ring from one another. Mouthman makes am advance towards Acid, when THe Host's Henchman reaches midring Acid begins to heave, as if he were about to vomit. Mouthman, obviously annoyed by Matt's antics stops and leers at Dude menacingly, sudenly Matt whips a slingshot out of his back pocket, and a handful of tic tacs from his side pocket, and begins to fire tic tacs at Mouthman's face rapidly. The fans are eating this up, and The Knight seems to be having a good time in the process.

JP: So, right off the bat, Matt Acid's plan seems to be piss off his much larger opponent. In what world does that seem like a good idea?

Ray: Seems that way, but who cares he's a cutie.

As the tiny white pellets pelt The Accused in the face, one does manage to hit it's target. With Mouthman momentarily distracted, The Dude runs headlong towards the seven footer. The Barbarlock isn't quite as distracted as Matt Acid assumed, and thwarts Acid's advance with a stiff foot to the midsection. MM's enormous foot sends The Space Case back towards the ropes, Acid hits the ropes, and falls to the outside of the ring through the top and bottom rope. David Diamond, who was standing by at ringside, helps Matt to his feet. Once to his feet Dude and Diamond have a brief meeting, before David shrugs off Mouthman's attack, and re-enters the ring. Almost immidietly, The Faithless attempts to stomp at Acid, who uses his superior speed to roll out of the way, and get back to his verticle base.


JP: Matt Acid, barley manages to get out of the way there. I tell you, I do not envy him tonight. He's got a monster of a task on his hands here tonight.


Ray: I bet he's got a monster something else, and by something else I mean his...

JP: I'm going to have to stop you right there Ray, I already know where you are going, and I'd rather not hear about it!

Ray: ...I was going to say a monster spirit. Geez JP, get your head out of the gutter.

JP: Oh, sure THAT is what you were going to say...do I look that stupid?

Matt, thinking on his feet, leaps into the air and throws a right fist into the top of Mouthman's skull. In hindsight this was not the best move, as the majority of Mouthman's skull is plated in silver, which causes Acid to hurt himself way more than he had The Orc Warrior. Acid scrambles away, towards his corner where his ring gear sits, and grabs hold of his sword. Mouthman slowly turns, seeing the sword and isn't even phased. The Knight begins to flail wildly, as he advances toward the seven foot tall monster. Once in range, Matt gives one more good swing with his sword, only to have it snatched out of the air, by Mouthman, who proceeds to snap the weapon in two.


Ray: Ha! Plastic, did he KNOW that was a plastic sword?

JP: He had to have known, an actual sword would way far more than a plastic one! That had to be a bluff, and it failed horribly. Mouthman saw that coming from a mile away, Acid needs to get serious here.

Mouthman, having fooled around with Matt Acid enough, grabs him by the collar and slings him across the ring. The Faithless slowly stalks toward The Space Case, who has managed to get back to his feet. Matt shakes the cobwebs, and quickly ruhes Moutman, driving himself shoulder first once in striking range. Mouthman isn't quick enough to dodge, and all of Matt Acid's weight slams into his right knee, staggering him backwards. Acid, seeing an oppurtunity, goes for it again. Again, his shot lands square, and the bigman stumbles back, and hits the ropes which aren't strong enough to support him, sending him tumbling down to the thin padding below. As the fans cheer loudly, The Acidic Superstar positions himself on the top turnbuckle just above Mouthman, and lays in wait.

TBC

[mouthman]

Late as hell but I will post. Starting it now. I promised Vlad I would show damn it. Fuck snow and work.

[mouthman]

Matt hurtles through the air and plows into the giant of a man with a Cross Body. The impact bowls the big man over but instead of being able to roll off as he'd expected, the Space Case feels himself being held tight by the powerful arms of his opponent. To his horror, Mouthman rolls through and stands up with him in tow. Matt violently wiggles to get free but it doesn't work, and soon is sent hard into the front row of fans via a monstrous Fallaway Slam. Most are able to flee from the incoming fleshly projectile but one rather obese man doesn't have that capability, and winds up cushioning some of force for Acid. As Matt scrambles to get his wits about him, his hand graces a half eaten chilli cheese dog and he throws it toward the approaching Servant of the Host. It's a good idea. Great for distraction purposes. However the plan fails as Mouth Man catches it in his impossibly large mouth and spits it right back out at his foe. Matt wallows around some more to find his footing and formulate a better plan, but his dogged and demented opponent seems to be closing in much faster than anticipated. 

Matt's eyes widen in terror as Mouth Man takes a deep breath in and goes to exhale his foul, putrid breath into his face. At the last second Matt Acid uses a steel chair to shield his face from the burning skin melting effects of the stankest mouth in all of history. As Mouth Man continues to exhale all that built up air, the chair turned shield in Matt's hands slowly begins to push inward toward his own face. Suddenly the chair is ripped out of his grasp as tossed aside. Next Matt is yanked up by the scruff of the neck and rag dolled other the barricade back to the ringside area. As anyone would do, Matt skedaddles back into the ring. Luckily for him, Mouth Man has speed of a sloth and takes forever and a day to get near the ring. The Dude patiently waits, and when the Faithless attempts to step over the top rope, he burns rubber toward him and spins through the air with a Flying Leg Lariat. it connects flush, a loud smack sound echoing through the walls memorialized to the late great Jerry Nate. The momentum sends Matt over to the outside, where he lands nimbly on his feet like a cat. Mouth Man winds up with his foot caught in the middle and top rope, and is found stranded upside down when the Dude turns toward him.

RW: " *exhales sigh of relief* Oh thank merciful god if there is one. That face of Matt's was one steel chair shield away from being peeled off him from that awful ass sewer shit dead fetus breath."

JP: "I think Mouth Man was fancying himself a Dragonborn there for a moment. He tried to use the ole breath weapon on Matt. The kid better start putting the works to Mouth Man now and stop celebrating though. I don't think Mouth Man is from around here, if you get my drift. Stay on him, Matt. The fate of the Elves depends on it."

Matt pumps up the fans with a yell of "TOTALLY TUBULAR DUUUUDES!" and some high fives. Then he runs toward the hanging bad guy and Super Kicks him in his agape mouth. In doing so, though, his foot winds up trapped in the possibly otherworldly person's enormous mouth. Acid bellows out a short scream as his opponent's weird ass teeth bare down on his foot. Matt jerks and pulls and twists until at last he is free... and pissed off. He limps around some and shakes out the pain in his foot and ankle. Seizing the opportunity at hand, the Friend of the Elves scoots onto the ring apron and runs down it, careening a kick into the big man's already hurt knee. A yowl is heard from the Faithless. Matt continues to kick away at it while the giant thrashes around helplessly. An idea pops into Matt's head and he abruptly ceases the attack. The camera follows closely as he waltz over to his gear and pulls out his favorite weapon, the good ole CLAW HAMMER. He waves it in the air, whipping the fans into a frenzy, as he makes hi way back to Mouth Man and crawls onto the apron again. During his excursion for the hammer, the Accursed has been pushing and kicking the ropes with his free leg, hoping to liberate himself from the snare. It has not worked and doesn't seem like it will as Matt Acid plods forward and brings the hammer down hard.....

WHIFF

He misses. At the eleventh hour Mouth Man kicked the ropes and they puked him out. Not only does the Dude miss, he winds up pinging himself on the kneecap in the process, and hops up and down in place, then drops the hammer. Conveniently enough, the tool of Matt's trade winds up next to Mouth Man's gigantic hand, and he scoops it up. The Faithless emits a roar of anger and powers to a stand, then brings his tree trunk of an arm against the back of Acid's leg, effectively clothes lining them out from under him. The Dude boinks the back of his head on the apron and falls onto the thin pads at Mouth Man's massive shit stompers. Mouth Man drops to a knee beside the elven friend's head, partially because he is still suffering some affliction from Matt's assault of it earlier. Without delay, the Servant of the Host grabs the steel hammer and claw portion of the weapon and pulverizes Acid's forehead with the wooden handle end. Then he just grinds it into the poor man's forehead before relenting enough to marvel in his handy work. Oh yes what a glorious sight it is. The Host would be pleased. Blood is seen dripping down Matt's forehead and framing at his eyes. 

Mouth Man limps to a stand and drags Acid up with him, then winds back and up, looking to drill him into the next realm with the steel portion. Matt throws a desperate shin into the beast's private area and it is enough to stop him in his tracks. Mouth Man drops to his knees and releases the hammer. Matt Acid ambles around some shaking his head, sending blood everywhere before taking control of his trusty weapon again. The Dude has had enough of this bullshit and takes a full, hard gallop toward the evil in his midst. And during this travel he yells out "LONG LIVE THE KNIGHTS AND ELVES!" 

*CRRRRRRRAAAACCCKKKKK*

The steel rounded end collides brutally with the Orcish Monster's silver mask covered forehead and sends him back and out cold.... or so it seems. 

JP: "Good night Irene, Isabelle, and Jospehine. Matt, blooded and battered, just bashed Mouth Man's consciousness all the way back to Mount Doom."

RW: "And not a moment too soon. Matt was going to get that pretty face of his all torn up. Go get him, Mattie Poohs." 

TBC