Post by Slut (✿ ◕‿◕) on Feb 13, 2015 0:02:53 GMT -4
The scene opens upon the blue haired enigma that is Kahlan standing back tout, holding a microphone in a dark and dingy room. She smiles brilliantly.
“I was told that before my match today, I would’ve had to perform a promo regarding my contest later on tonight. Now, I’m not one to moan and nag… much, but that seems not a good enough incentive for a scintillating performer such as me. So I chose to ignore the request… until I heard that there would be a punishment if I refused to abide by the General Manager’s request. The punishment set is that in the event of failure to meet the request, one gets placed in a pointless bull rope and dildo sort of fight. I might not much think of the dildo part as much of a punishment... maybe I’d even like it a little but the bull rope part, now BDSM has always been a turn off to me.”
Kahlan licks her upper lip in thought.
“A little torn on the idea, I couldn’t stop noticing this newly met couple… you know Chris Pyro and that other Irish guy… yea, I couldn’t notice these two talk and talk and film and talk and film and talk and talk and talk and film-”
Kahlan’s brows shoot up as she stops talking.
“Well, you get the idea. I decided to well… no one really cares to hear much more about Pyro and the turtle anymore so why not do a segment totally devoid of those two idiots!”
The smile returns in its full white toothy glory.
“That’s right! A Kahlan promo! The topic… ummm… oh yea… SKULL!”
The grin disappears swiftly!
“I don’t like Skull as a person, I don’t like Skull professionally, I don’t like Skull personally and I sure as hell don’t like Skull’s stupid name. What sort of a depraved childhood does one require to call themselves … Skull … as an adult? When I hear that name it reminds me of stuff like…”
Kahlan looks around, pondering.
“-this room! Its dirty, it’s dark and it’s damp. And let me tell you it has the weirdest smell that I can’t even associate with anything … well maybe a dead creature. You get the point. If the guy imagined it as I don’t know, scary spooky sort of thing it would’ve been much better if he called himself the Slutty Pumpkin! At least I can wear that custom once a year.”
Kahlan wriggles her nose in disgust.
“You know what? From now on I’m calling him the Slutty Pumpkin. It suits his comedy character better.
Anyway, enough with the talking about this guy’s lack of imagination, his mediocrity is making me bored. Almost as bored as watching another Chris Pyro scene threatening someone. Ladies and gentlemen I am Kahlan and I know for a fact that you like me. Because I like me.
Alright Oliver, cut the camera!”
The end
“I was told that before my match today, I would’ve had to perform a promo regarding my contest later on tonight. Now, I’m not one to moan and nag… much, but that seems not a good enough incentive for a scintillating performer such as me. So I chose to ignore the request… until I heard that there would be a punishment if I refused to abide by the General Manager’s request. The punishment set is that in the event of failure to meet the request, one gets placed in a pointless bull rope and dildo sort of fight. I might not much think of the dildo part as much of a punishment... maybe I’d even like it a little but the bull rope part, now BDSM has always been a turn off to me.”
Kahlan licks her upper lip in thought.
“A little torn on the idea, I couldn’t stop noticing this newly met couple… you know Chris Pyro and that other Irish guy… yea, I couldn’t notice these two talk and talk and film and talk and film and talk and talk and talk and film-”
Kahlan’s brows shoot up as she stops talking.
“Well, you get the idea. I decided to well… no one really cares to hear much more about Pyro and the turtle anymore so why not do a segment totally devoid of those two idiots!”
The smile returns in its full white toothy glory.
“That’s right! A Kahlan promo! The topic… ummm… oh yea… SKULL!”
The grin disappears swiftly!
“I don’t like Skull as a person, I don’t like Skull professionally, I don’t like Skull personally and I sure as hell don’t like Skull’s stupid name. What sort of a depraved childhood does one require to call themselves … Skull … as an adult? When I hear that name it reminds me of stuff like…”
Kahlan looks around, pondering.
“-this room! Its dirty, it’s dark and it’s damp. And let me tell you it has the weirdest smell that I can’t even associate with anything … well maybe a dead creature. You get the point. If the guy imagined it as I don’t know, scary spooky sort of thing it would’ve been much better if he called himself the Slutty Pumpkin! At least I can wear that custom once a year.”
Kahlan wriggles her nose in disgust.
“You know what? From now on I’m calling him the Slutty Pumpkin. It suits his comedy character better.
Anyway, enough with the talking about this guy’s lack of imagination, his mediocrity is making me bored. Almost as bored as watching another Chris Pyro scene threatening someone. Ladies and gentlemen I am Kahlan and I know for a fact that you like me. Because I like me.
Alright Oliver, cut the camera!”
The end
