The one and fucking only is back with a bang.

[Shawn Scholes]

The scene opens in the parking lot, where the luxurious cars of the big superstar celebrities were parked. As the camera widens its lens, there was a black big limousine which was being witnessed quite clearly.


Ray: Well, here is a kind of surprise for us and for the EVPW universe. That who is there in that car?

Jimmy: Yeah, it is actually quiet surprising that who will be making a shocking return tonight.

Ray: Well. Lets see what is going to happen, but before that, lets take a short break.

Jimmy: Yes, absolutely we will be right back. Dont go anywhere.

After a short commercial break by the sponsor, the show was back to life. The camera gets back again in the parking lot and the car door at the end was opened which was making the fans more greedy to see. The cravenness and the hungriness by the fans were making fans greedy that which one of their hero will be making a return tonight. A stranger gets out of the car wearing a suit.

Jimmy: What the hell? Are you serious? Who the hell is he?

Ray: You cannot imagine how excited and surprised I was Jim. But now? Eh. I mean look at him this guy is a complete stranger.

The stranger, steps up on the ramp and enters the ring. Goes forward and bends under the first rope, asking for a mic from the ring announcer. He brings the mic closer to his mouth to speak.

"Well ladies and gentlemen I know I am a stranger to you. But I am an honest and fair person. I seek justice. The truth is this place is filled with you worthless, no good and pathetic puppets. I mean it doesn't matter how much a person works hard, it doesn't matter whatever he sacrifices to achieve his goal one day which is to be the best wrestler in the world. Even if he makes it till here in this industry and he gets paid well. That wont take him anywhere, trust me. But if you puppets, cheer for him. Yes! He will definitely be a superstar even if he is an average B class wrestler, he will be a star because you love him. The unfair EVPW authority, will only promote him if he is being supported by you. Infact the truth is you people are too lazy to get the real job. You people suck."

Ray: is he serious?

Jimmy: Why on earth he is immediately blaming the authority and the EVPW universe?

The crowd starts chanting 'Fuck you stranger *clap* *clap* *clap* Fuck you stranger' at top of their lungs.

"See now you're going to disrespect me, that's alright. Because I know the reality you are the stupid people who will waste a world class wrestler by hating him and by vilifying him. There are many of the wrestlers who are wasted here because of you. Because of you they are unemployed today or are doing some cheap jobs so they can earn something to eat. Why on earth do you think? An average wrestler like Shawn Dreamer (crowd chants at top of their lungs) became a fucking legend here. Haan? Because you liked him. This is the simple story of this place. So its time. Let me introduce to you myself first and then i'll introduce you another star who was being greatly wasted by the stupid authority of EVPW because of you off course. So ladies and gentleman my name is Steve White and I'll be managing a monster who will be certainly under me because he knows that he is now will be working with a genius. So please welcome 'The one and fucking only' SSSHHHHHAWWNNN SSSCHHHOOOLLEEESS!"

Ray: OH MY GOD!? What the hell?

Jimmy: Ohhhh boyyy. This is going to be interesting.


I am the champion by Clement hits the arena and Steve White's monster comes out. Camera widens its leans on Shawn Scholes who was walking down the ramp in anger and was walking with big strides. Shawn, enters the ring and Steve White starts talking again, while pointing out his index finger towards his client.

"This was the guy who busted his ass off and wrestled in the streets of America. He defeated one of the most dangerous and talented superstars. Not in the history of EVPW. Not those wrestlers who are or were made by you. But the wrestlers from all over the world. He was being greatly wasted because he was disrespected and vilified by you. You people stink. Trust me this isnt sour grapes many pathetic wrestlers are in the main events and this young powerful gifted talent didn't got even one opportunity to get into the main event? This is just plain unfairness. I mean look at those biceps and then look who are booing him. Who don't even have a strength to break a fucking piece of biscuit. Well, let me get this straight. We're here to hurt people and we're here to change this place. Yes, one more thing we're here to defeat you and we are going to prove it that we don't need your support."

The camera widens its lens both Shawn Scholes and Steve white comes in the view with the devilish grin on their faces. The screen starts fading away.

END OF THE PROMO. PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR FEEDBACK PEOPLE.

[Slut (✿ ◕‿◕)]

"Fuck you stranger! Look at those biceps!"

Was an entertaining piece, good job.

[Shawn Scholes]

Thank you, beautiful.

[Tamatoa Harikoa]

Love the passion, I can really see Steve White taking Shawn far, I don't think Scholes is the same without the mouth piece of White. It allows you to play two different personalities and cash in on the differences between them.

As for the writing, it could be a little more in depth - but that's just my style. I really wanted to picture the scene as you were unfolding it. The speech, while you ticked all the right boxes in terms of what to say, could have been formatted differently to make it easier to read. Note that you can afford to mix the writing up into smaller paragraphs. Make those short, snappy sentences stand out by thinking carefully about where and how you include them in your writing.

Really top effort to shake off the rust and get back into things, it looks bright.

[Shawn Scholes]

Thanks alot first of all, yeah I get the point. Sometimes you need to rephrase the sentence so that it is straight forward a bit. I need to improve my language first. I am not a really good English speaker and Shawn is Steve White's guy. Offcourse my characters are of a separate identity but Steve White is just like Paul Heyman. He is the one doing the mic work for Shawn. So yeah the paragraph point is to be noted. Again thanks alot for your feedback.