Post by Rhaps on Oct 30, 2013 10:54:13 GMT -4
The scene opens in the confines of the halls that are so prevalent in the backstage areas of the Solid Core Gymnasium. A cheap cardboard set has been placed in the background and the word ‘Bodacious’ has been scrawled across it in giant orange letters, making it look like the font from the cheesy sound effects of Adam West’s Batman. Someone has childishly drawn thick orange circles around the entire gaudy affair and a number of exclamation marks also adorn the set to proclaim how truly bodacious this is. The bland and featureless form of Mister Bodacious walks into view and he is suitably garbed to cheerfully coincide with the backdrop. He is wearing a suit with a bright orange T-shirt with bodacious scrawled across it and with the same enthusiasm for decoration. Alongside this, the unknown entity is wearing a purple tie to match.
Mister Bodacious smiles manically into the camera as a microphone is proffered to him. He spends a few confused seconds wandering what it is he should be doing before he looks around in alarm. The Bodacious One gives a mousey squeak in alarm before retreating from view. Frantic shuffling and wailing can be heard off camera as the Hyper Sensation continues looking for something in particular before a triumphant hoot is uttered and Mister Bodacious returns with a wide grin plastered on his facial features. On his shoulder now resides his fabled ‘Everything Championship’ title belt made from cardboard and the pictures and words being clumsily drawn with permanent marker. In the Bodacious One’s mind however the title belt gleams with the brilliance of a thousand suns and he has to wear four pairs of sunglasses to avoid being blinded by the purple dots that he is trying to pass off as jewels.
A weary sigh is heard from the camera man whilst the strange individual of Mister Bodacious continues to ogle his homemade prize. Reality finally seeps its fangs into the skin of his fantasies and he brings the microphone up enthusiastically to speak. However his jerky motions are a bit too enthusiastic as he ends up slamming the auditory equipment into his eye at some speed. Mister Bodacious moans softly from the pain caused by his stupidity but in his mind’s eye these are akin to his final death throes and his fans are lamenting the loss of someone so perfect. A stage hand steps into view and crisply slaps the Hyper Sensation, bringing his attention back to the camera.
Mister Bodacious: Hello EVPW fans. How are you all on this fine evening? Don’t worry about that moment of panic earlier, I, Mister Bodacious, am absolutely fine so there’s no need for virgins to be throwing themselves out of their windows in grief. I nearly lost my eye sight from the damn stage hands stupidity of giving me a microphone that has clearly been rigged by one of my rivals to kill me and they nearly succeeded. Fortunately my skull if laced with adamantium and nothing can get through this tough and rugged exterior.
There is another audible groan from the camera crew who were, more than likely, punished for some mistake for having to deal with this tomfoolery. Mister Bodacious continues to smile, not noticing the mass of palms pressed into faces any time he is near them or speaking. He shrugs and continues talking into the camera.
Now, you may be wondering why Mister Bodacious has broken his silence and decided to speak to you. Well, frankly I am amazing. I am THE best competitor ever and I don’t mean just wrestling. Any sport, any activity you can wish to dream of and some that haven’t even been invented, I am the best at by the widest of margins. I have won the Everything Championship and nobody on the roster has had the bravery to challenge me. And yet there is one who wishes to face to wrath of my Bodacity. His name is Maxwell Silverhammer.
Here we have an example of the ridiculousness that is rampant in EVPW. Here is a man that dresses up in Star Trek uniforms, plays Flash Gordon as his entrance music and generally thinks that he is the saviour of the galaxy. Possibly, though I’m not entirely sure, that he will be beamed onto the USS Enterprise (NCC-1701) and can fight the villainy here in the federation. What a delusional individual this is.
A few scoffs of laughter can be heard in the face of Mister Bodacious’ words, obviously in reaction to his claims of Maxwell’s delusional state when his own is clearly well developed. The Bodacious One’s smile has been replaced with one of seriousness and he looks solemnly into the camera. This lasts for a few seconds before he looks away and shakes his head sadly.
I pity this delusional young man because it is painfully obvious to everyone else that this of course all completely made up. Of course the truth is, that I, am the true saviour of the galaxy. And if Starfleet were to contact anyone to deal with the Klingon or Borg threat they wouldn’t speak to his nobody, they would come to the holder of the Everything Championship. I resent his claims that he alone can help and save the galaxy in times of peril. I would captain circles around this paper leader. The USS Bodacity would totally own the USS Enterprise every day of whatever calendar you choose to follow. Personally I prefer the Bodacious Calender. Currently it is the twenty third day of the month of Awesome-Sauce; but enough about that. I am sending a challenge out to Maxwell Silverhammer and we will have the most epic of encounters to decide who is the rightful saviour and bringer of world peace.
Mister Bodacious throws his microphone onto the ground in what he thinks is a gesture of absolute determination and resolve. The manic grin is seen once again and behind him a stage hand is pouring a number of pills out into his hand. He then sneaks up behind the Hyper Sensation and attempts to force them into his mouth. He instantly begins to fight the stage hand and a brief fight ensues. After a couple of minutes of animated struggling, Mister Bodacious latches his nashers onto his assailants hand and a howl of pain is heard. The manic superstar clutches his title belt to his chest protectively before running away, shouting final parting words.
You will never silence the Bodacity!
The stage hands stand in a circle and scratch their heads at the clear insanity of this individual before the camera switches off, leaving a blank screen in its wake.
Comments Welcome. Feedback Appreciated.
Mister Bodacious smiles manically into the camera as a microphone is proffered to him. He spends a few confused seconds wandering what it is he should be doing before he looks around in alarm. The Bodacious One gives a mousey squeak in alarm before retreating from view. Frantic shuffling and wailing can be heard off camera as the Hyper Sensation continues looking for something in particular before a triumphant hoot is uttered and Mister Bodacious returns with a wide grin plastered on his facial features. On his shoulder now resides his fabled ‘Everything Championship’ title belt made from cardboard and the pictures and words being clumsily drawn with permanent marker. In the Bodacious One’s mind however the title belt gleams with the brilliance of a thousand suns and he has to wear four pairs of sunglasses to avoid being blinded by the purple dots that he is trying to pass off as jewels.
A weary sigh is heard from the camera man whilst the strange individual of Mister Bodacious continues to ogle his homemade prize. Reality finally seeps its fangs into the skin of his fantasies and he brings the microphone up enthusiastically to speak. However his jerky motions are a bit too enthusiastic as he ends up slamming the auditory equipment into his eye at some speed. Mister Bodacious moans softly from the pain caused by his stupidity but in his mind’s eye these are akin to his final death throes and his fans are lamenting the loss of someone so perfect. A stage hand steps into view and crisply slaps the Hyper Sensation, bringing his attention back to the camera.
Mister Bodacious: Hello EVPW fans. How are you all on this fine evening? Don’t worry about that moment of panic earlier, I, Mister Bodacious, am absolutely fine so there’s no need for virgins to be throwing themselves out of their windows in grief. I nearly lost my eye sight from the damn stage hands stupidity of giving me a microphone that has clearly been rigged by one of my rivals to kill me and they nearly succeeded. Fortunately my skull if laced with adamantium and nothing can get through this tough and rugged exterior.
There is another audible groan from the camera crew who were, more than likely, punished for some mistake for having to deal with this tomfoolery. Mister Bodacious continues to smile, not noticing the mass of palms pressed into faces any time he is near them or speaking. He shrugs and continues talking into the camera.
Now, you may be wondering why Mister Bodacious has broken his silence and decided to speak to you. Well, frankly I am amazing. I am THE best competitor ever and I don’t mean just wrestling. Any sport, any activity you can wish to dream of and some that haven’t even been invented, I am the best at by the widest of margins. I have won the Everything Championship and nobody on the roster has had the bravery to challenge me. And yet there is one who wishes to face to wrath of my Bodacity. His name is Maxwell Silverhammer.
Here we have an example of the ridiculousness that is rampant in EVPW. Here is a man that dresses up in Star Trek uniforms, plays Flash Gordon as his entrance music and generally thinks that he is the saviour of the galaxy. Possibly, though I’m not entirely sure, that he will be beamed onto the USS Enterprise (NCC-1701) and can fight the villainy here in the federation. What a delusional individual this is.
A few scoffs of laughter can be heard in the face of Mister Bodacious’ words, obviously in reaction to his claims of Maxwell’s delusional state when his own is clearly well developed. The Bodacious One’s smile has been replaced with one of seriousness and he looks solemnly into the camera. This lasts for a few seconds before he looks away and shakes his head sadly.
I pity this delusional young man because it is painfully obvious to everyone else that this of course all completely made up. Of course the truth is, that I, am the true saviour of the galaxy. And if Starfleet were to contact anyone to deal with the Klingon or Borg threat they wouldn’t speak to his nobody, they would come to the holder of the Everything Championship. I resent his claims that he alone can help and save the galaxy in times of peril. I would captain circles around this paper leader. The USS Bodacity would totally own the USS Enterprise every day of whatever calendar you choose to follow. Personally I prefer the Bodacious Calender. Currently it is the twenty third day of the month of Awesome-Sauce; but enough about that. I am sending a challenge out to Maxwell Silverhammer and we will have the most epic of encounters to decide who is the rightful saviour and bringer of world peace.
Mister Bodacious throws his microphone onto the ground in what he thinks is a gesture of absolute determination and resolve. The manic grin is seen once again and behind him a stage hand is pouring a number of pills out into his hand. He then sneaks up behind the Hyper Sensation and attempts to force them into his mouth. He instantly begins to fight the stage hand and a brief fight ensues. After a couple of minutes of animated struggling, Mister Bodacious latches his nashers onto his assailants hand and a howl of pain is heard. The manic superstar clutches his title belt to his chest protectively before running away, shouting final parting words.
You will never silence the Bodacity!
The stage hands stand in a circle and scratch their heads at the clear insanity of this individual before the camera switches off, leaving a blank screen in its wake.
Comments Welcome. Feedback Appreciated.
