It's Jack!

[-Jack Noble-]

EVPW faithful are still hot after the last action packed match. That’s one thing you can be sure of; these fans love their stars. They know all the blood, sweat and tears that are shed in that ring is for their amusement and they get off on it. The fans love it, thrive for it, pay for their tickets with their hard earned money, or welfare money, whatever fuck you. Even with the lack of action, the arena is filled with a buzz, however, that brief moment of no action is now broken. Suddenly, “The Future Is Now” by The Offspring smashes the speakers and eardrums throughout the joint. This theme song is unfamiliar to the EVPW crowd, until the man who it belongs to pops through the black curtains.

“Can it be?! He’s back! He’s back! It’s JACK!” screams Jimmy Pate
“I can’t believe it, Jimmy! Plus, look at him! He looks about the best I’ve ever seen him!” states Ray White.

As it’s been revealed, it’s Jack Noble who has stepped through the curtains, breaking his hiatus from wrestling. As Ray White said, he has lost a lot of weight and finally looks match ready. Not only does he look in fighting shape, but he looks generally happy... something that hasn’t been seen from him in a long time. The time before he became the first ever champion in the previous reboot of the company, before the stress of management trying to screw him like a four-dollar hooker. However, it looks like he’s just back for some fun and catching up due to his lack of in ring gear. A tattered, black t-shirt and blue jeans is his attire for the night and that’s not something he would usually wear if he was about to lay a can of whoop ass on somebody. The Spaceman has finally made his way down to the steel ring steps and begins to trot up them one by one. He dips between the top and middle rope and swings his body into the ring. Jack then hops his way on over to the furthest turnbuckle and leaps up and onto the middle one. He scans through the crowd like the NSA scans your calls. He grins, as the crowd roars, he’s the most satisfied he’s been since leaving the ring.
“It’s good to see you too, Jack!” swoons Ray White.

One of the EVPW ring crew tosses up a microphone and Jack snatches it out of mid air as he then steps down from the turnbuckle. He raises the microphone to his lips and gets his promo underway.

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. As some of you may know, I’m Jack Fucking Noble, if anyone didn’t know that, you do now. I could list my accomplishments over the next couple hours and slow up the whole show, or I could just tell you why I’m here. So, me being me, I’m going with option number two. The other day, I finally had time to myself. Between working out, having a job, and praising the almighty 420 that’s something I haven’t had all too much of. Anyway, I hopped onto my computer, scrolled through facebook, twitter, instagram, everything until I gave in to temptation and I checked up on this good ol’ place. I caught the next episode and I saw someone who caught my eye the instant his face came onto the screen. Kyrptops… The Best. That kid is nuckin futs, man. He’s good, yeah, but I think he has the potential to be great, the next champion, if I might say. This Kryptops kid actually reminds me a lot of myself in a way. “

The EVPW fans patiently await Jack to continue, but before he can he’s interrupted by some familiar sound.

TBCB

[Angel Huerta]

“Y’ALL WANNA SINGLE SAY FUCK THAT!”

Korn’s “Y’all Wanna Single” hits the PA system, just as it always does before the man claiming to be the “best” makes his way to the ring. Not too much time passes before the curtain is pushed out of the way, clearing a path for the man of the hour to make his presence. Clothed in his normal attire; boots, tights and of course his mask, KtB begins to make his way down the ramp, smacking hands with the participating fans on his decent.

“How is he standing, Ray? This man took one hell of a fucking beating last week at the hands of Vladimir, and here he is, walking to the ring as if it’s just another day at the office.”
“Jimmy, this man is a freak- and not my kind of freak! He literally was hit by a car Jim, A FUCKING CAR! But alas, he is here tonight with not so much as a limp to show for it.”

Kryptops marches up the metal steps and up to the apron, holding on to the top rope with all ten fingers, KtB hurtles over the set of cables and lands solidly on his feet. The two athletes smile and nod at each other, Kryptops walks past Noble and ascends the turnbuckle, throwing his arms up and basking in the crowd’s warm cheers. He hops down’s and strides over to the east corner and does much of the same, before hopping down to the canvas. He saunters past Jack once more, this time to procure himself a microphone. As his music fades away he stands in front of the Spaceman, a mere five feet away and begins to speak into the mic.

“Damn boy, looks like somebody slimmed down a little since the last time I’ve seen yah, huh! Lookin’ good if I might say so myself there, Twinkie Boy.”

Kryptops laughs at himself a little; he knows fat jokes are a big turn-off for some people, so he makes sure he keeps his tone as friendly as possible as to not offend Noble.

“But in all seriousness, Jack, it’s good to see you back in the ring, I’m glad you got yourself together and decided to get your ass back in my ring. I’m even gladder to hear that my ass whooping last week inspired you enough to return. It there’s anyone in this industry that can take a beating and make it look good, I’m that guy!

Anywho, there I was in the back and I hear all this mumbo-jumbo about how I’m the next champion, and I think to myself, this guy is fucking smart than he looks! So, I thought I’d just come out here and formally introduce myself, nice to meet you Jack, I’m Kryptops the Best, your future Decimation champion!”

Kryptops laughs at his satirical comments and extends his hand out for a handshake, waiting for Jack to do the same.

tbcb; jack f'n noble

[-Jack Noble-]

Cocking up an eyebrow after the blatant words of self-adoration from ‘The Best”, Jack snatches up Kyrptops’ hand, locking in a firm handshake. A blank expression rolls over both men as the handshake is released. They haven’t unlocked eyes since Kryptops first entered the ring. The commentators, fans, wrestlers backstage are all silent. Jack Noble brings the microphone up to his lips, still not breaking eye contact.

“If we keep looking at each other like this, people might get the wrong impression… baby.” Chuckles Jack.

Kryptops looks to the roof, officially breaking the forever and a moment long eye lock. The crowd gives giggles along with the Spaceman as Kyrptops doesn’t seem all too thrilled of the jokes, but that’s the way the cookie crumbles.

“So, getting hit by a car.. now that’s something you don’t see in a resume all too often. Hell, I mean, I have fighting my best friend almost to the death, being a dual champion, beating a man who was single handedly ruining this company so badly he retired, getting higher than any man has ever gotten and being an all around decent dude on mine. But I don’t think I’ve ever been hit by a car. That’s something.” Says Jack.

“Glad to see you haven’t forgotten your past, old guy.” Snarls Kyrptops.

Noble grins, this is what he was talking about. This is exactly what he meant by seeing a lot of himself in this young wrestler. He’s feisty, for lack of a better word. Not only do you need the fundamental and wrestling “know how” but you need white as well. That’s something that a lot of people seem to forget.

“Kid, there are people who want to be at the top, there are people that deserve to be at the top, then we got our people that are at the top but don’t deserve it or belong there anymore. Finally we got then guys with the all around know how who belong at the top and that’s exactly where they rest. So, it’s up to you to decide where you belong or want to be. You can either sleep on it, or we can go to iHop and get waffles over it. Another choice for you to make.” Suggests Jack.

TBCB