A smokey cabin, a handful of spuds and a flea-filled bed
Sept 5, 2013 21:03:53 GMT -4
Vladimir Strife likes this
Post by Cletus & Big Jim on Sept 5, 2013 21:03:53 GMT -4
An advertisement for Semiwagan Shine draws to a close; a large man with a moose tattoo on his forearm places his hand suggestively on the thigh of a young blonde, flitting his tongue in and out as she furtively sips from the titular brown bottle…
We’re back to EVPW Decimation, but the fed’s cameras are a long way from home. The unblinking eye of the camcorder leers at the front door of a log cabin, leaning and coated with moss. Passing through the open door, it surveys the human jetsam within. In the far corner sits a bald old man with one eye and a scruffy beard, his belly flapping under a set of grease-stained long johns. To his right, a man rubs liniment, drawn from a rusty tin, over feet that have no toes whatsoever. On the bunks behind them a half dozen men lay crammed on the pallet, spooning one another awkwardly. In the kitchen, a spindly man, with ¼ of a cigarette hanging out of his mouth and a permanent oily sheen on his face, tends to a pot of food too obscured by smoke and steam to be discernible. Finally, seated at the table is Cletus & Big Jim. Cletus seems confused, shaking his head, while Jim fixes his gaze somewhere between himself and the far wall, staring into nothing.
The lumberjacks….the lumberjacks? They don’t even know our names Jimmy…
They’ll learn Cletus.
To them, we’re just two fellas that fell off the turnip truck; dumb as a load of coal. They don’t know…
No, no they don’t, but we’ll teach ‘um.
Damn right.
Jim starts to get agitated, remembering past battles
We’ll teach ‘um, the same way we taught the Legion, the same way we taught AJ Scally…
Cletus smirks, remembering one night in particular.
The same way we taught Charlotte the Harlot?
Maybe so Cletus, maybe so…
The Crew now turns to face the camera
Now it started a few weeks ago when we proved that the Pyro brothers were nothing more than a pair of Bic lighters…
And this week, Wyziner and Matt Violence, you return just in time to get cut down and put through the mill.
Boys, I’ll give it you, good on ya for stepping up. Every man in that locker room is thinking the same thing, they’d rather sit beside you than in your place. A scholars ink lasts longer than a martyrs blood, but lucky for you they’ll write plenty about how we make you bleed.
Devin Bozz likes to joke, he says prepare your anuses, but when the dust settles I’ll have you both moaning like a cow moose in heat…
And then nobody will ever forget to call us the Logging Crew ever again….
Cletus and Big Jim get up to leave, Cletus begins singing
We’re back to EVPW Decimation, but the fed’s cameras are a long way from home. The unblinking eye of the camcorder leers at the front door of a log cabin, leaning and coated with moss. Passing through the open door, it surveys the human jetsam within. In the far corner sits a bald old man with one eye and a scruffy beard, his belly flapping under a set of grease-stained long johns. To his right, a man rubs liniment, drawn from a rusty tin, over feet that have no toes whatsoever. On the bunks behind them a half dozen men lay crammed on the pallet, spooning one another awkwardly. In the kitchen, a spindly man, with ¼ of a cigarette hanging out of his mouth and a permanent oily sheen on his face, tends to a pot of food too obscured by smoke and steam to be discernible. Finally, seated at the table is Cletus & Big Jim. Cletus seems confused, shaking his head, while Jim fixes his gaze somewhere between himself and the far wall, staring into nothing.
The lumberjacks….the lumberjacks? They don’t even know our names Jimmy…
They’ll learn Cletus.
To them, we’re just two fellas that fell off the turnip truck; dumb as a load of coal. They don’t know…
No, no they don’t, but we’ll teach ‘um.
Damn right.
Jim starts to get agitated, remembering past battles
We’ll teach ‘um, the same way we taught the Legion, the same way we taught AJ Scally…
Cletus smirks, remembering one night in particular.
The same way we taught Charlotte the Harlot?
Maybe so Cletus, maybe so…
The Crew now turns to face the camera
Now it started a few weeks ago when we proved that the Pyro brothers were nothing more than a pair of Bic lighters…
And this week, Wyziner and Matt Violence, you return just in time to get cut down and put through the mill.
Boys, I’ll give it you, good on ya for stepping up. Every man in that locker room is thinking the same thing, they’d rather sit beside you than in your place. A scholars ink lasts longer than a martyrs blood, but lucky for you they’ll write plenty about how we make you bleed.
Devin Bozz likes to joke, he says prepare your anuses, but when the dust settles I’ll have you both moaning like a cow moose in heat…
And then nobody will ever forget to call us the Logging Crew ever again….
Cletus and Big Jim get up to leave, Cletus begins singing
They asked him to go a-hunting, without any fear or strife,
And these two bold and wicked villains, they took the poor boy’s life.
And in the ditch there was no water, only bush and briars grew.
They couldn’t hide the blood of slaughter, so in the ditch his body they threw.
