Bringing the Bodacity

[Rhaps]

The scene opens in one of the many corridors of the Solid Core Gymnasium. A table has been set up with food on it for all the backstage staff and a few are milling about when the segment starts. The camera spins around to survey the entire scene before resting on a face that none in EVPW have ever seen before. The face belongs who looks completely average, the unknown individual possessing no discernible features to distinguish him from anybody else in the world. He is wearing a suit and he is holding his lapel in a similar fashion to Abraham Lincoln, staring off to one side dramatically. As the camera focuses on him he jumps back in mock surprise.

Mister Bodacious: Hello there EVPW fans! You may recognise me for the clearly talented and amazing superstar that is Mister Bodacious. But for those of you who don’t know, allow me to introduce myself with a profile of my glittering career. And for that purpose, I have commandeered the services of Lizzie Morna to conduct the most bodacious interview ever!

Lizzie Morna is dragged into view by an enthusiastic Mister Bodacious, a manic grin on his facial features. She looks less sure of herself than her counterpart. Despite her obvious reluctance, the Bodacious One quickly snatches a microphone from somewhere off camera and thrusts it eagerly into Lizzie’s hands. A few seconds pass while he clears his throat before making a serious face and turning to the woman. She raises the microphone to her mouth to begin the first question. While she does this Mister Bodacious begins flexing randomly.


Lizzie: So, I’m here with Mister Bodacious. Do I really have to say this?

Mister Bodacious: Yes, keep going. This is going to be great!

Lizzie: The newest and most exciting man on the roster today. So, tell us a little bit about yourself. What was your biggest moment inside a wrestling ring?

The question was clearly out of left field as the Bodacious One’s face screws up in intense thought. He spends the next few seconds over the wording, his brain clearly having difficulties with forming some sort of cogent sentence that could possibly satisfy his less than willing interviewer.

Mister Bodacious: Well Lisa, my proudest moment in a wrestling ring must have been the time I won every championship ever made in the most awesome match ever. I think at some point there were sharks and somebody was touched by God. I’m not sure who it was but when the dust settled, I, Mister Bodacious stood the victor. And with my impossibly manly physique I held the Unified Everything Championship in my arms and knew then, I would be legendary!

Lizzie takes a few steps back from the clearly delusional Mister Bodacious but she rallies on, determined to get the ridiculous amount of money she was offered to conduct this ridiculous interview. Mister Bodacious however stares dreamily into space, contemplating the awesomeness that must have existed in that one fragile and totally imaginary moment.

Lizzie: My name is Lizzie but let’s move on. That must have been a career defining moment for you. But, what can the fans expect from you in the coming months? Surely you must have plans to win one of EVPW’s illustrious championships. Or, did you win them already?

Mister Bodacious: Well Alejandro, I already said I won them all didn’t I. But that doesn’t mean the Bodacity will not be brought into everybody’s homes via an EVPW owned camera. The world will bask in my reflected glory as I outshine everyone on the roster and prove that I am the greatest competitor ever. I have awesome moves like a punch, or the feared kick! How can anybody withstand such brutality!

Lizzie has clearly decided she has had enough of this ridiculous display. She drops the microphone and it rings out loudly. She then tries to reach into Mister Bodacious jacket pocket to retrieve the money she was promised. He begins to resist her attempts to alleviate him of his money. However, she has little time for this and she slaps the Bodacious One across the face. He falls to the ground in dramatic fashion, lying spread eagled on the floor. While he is prone, Lizzie takes all the money he has on him and walks off before uttering the word ‘freak’ under her breath. After she has gone, Mister Bodacious gets back up to his feet retrieving the microphone. He holds it aloft to his lips to continue his idiotic ramblings before he hears footsteps behind him.

TBCB They Know Who.

[Slut (✿ ◕‿◕)]

The footsteps belong to the distinguishable blue haired woman in EVPW trying to get away from a fat man at her heels. The fat man is wearing a white headband over his head, which clearly states ‘lord’ in some fancy font. Matching the style his T-shirt is also white and distorted over his bulbous belly, ‘lunacy’.

Mister Bodacious is all but surprised into a silent glare at the procession which is set straight for him. He eyes the woman up and down as soon as she reaches up beside him and stands rooted in place. The fat man catches up soon and is about to lay his hands on the woman, when she brings a hand up stopping him in his tracks. Instead she turns to Mister Bodacious and his curious, yet dangerously close to slipping into an angry face, eyes. “A-HA! It is so fortunate that I have found you Mister- Mister…”

“I am the well-known and famous Mister Bodacious! And you are? Miss…”

The woman flicks her fringe aside so very casually and looks up with a mesmerising smile, “I am the much, much more famous and well-known Kahlan. The original slayer of Strife! The Queen of everything long and all the ladders! The explosion maniac of many an arena! The artistic mind beyond the devastating Supernova! The bitch-making mistress of Wolverina! The brilliant thinker of a super-secret master plan still in progress! The manager phenomena of the undefeated one Beauchamp! The most legendary tag-team specialist in the entirety of the universe! The leader of-”

Mister Bodacious, who seems incapable of hearing anymore of this woman’s long list of self-proclaimed achievements, tries at breaking the flow “Please! You cannot dazzle me with these personal accomplishments! Why, I am the winner of all championships, the ones that matter and the ones that don’t matter as much, in the most awesome match ever devised. They call me the holder nay, the champion of the Unified Everything Championship. I, in my humble nature have shortened it to only to Champion! Look at me for one moment!” Mister Bodacious holds a finger up with as much drama as he can muster, “no truly look at me! Ignore my Greek God physique, and just look at me! I am glowing! Can’t you see? I am glowing like the source of all things great!”

Kahlan is stunned into silence for once. She closes her hanging jaw and slowly raises an eyebrow, “why you didn’t say. You seem like an important man.”

Mister Bodacious smiles for the first time, “well indeed I am!” He turns towards the drooling fat man standing next to Kahlan, “Who is this friend of yours?”

Kahlan’s expression sours somewhat too quickly, “HIM? HIM? Why I was just trying to find a man as refined as yourself to save me from this man’s unwanted advances! His name is Nicholas and he won’t leave me alone!”

“Now listen, I told you I am not Nicholas! I want my-” The fat man’s voice is so soft that one would have trouble placing it on someone as big of a frame as him.

“Well, you do look like him! You smell him! You’re certainly as fat as him! You walk like him! You are as much as retarded like him! I cannot see the difference oh Mister I’m not Nicholas! Who are you then?” Kahlan’s accusatory look and her pointing finger both poke into the fat man’s curvy chest.

“I told you-”

However, Mister Bodacious is having none of it. “You heard the lady! Be gone from my sight! Be gone from here before I am forced to take action!”

Nicholas Carson, or his look alike, it is indeed very difficult to tell if he is that person or not, looks from one face to the other, licks his lips in a nervous gesture, turns and stomps away with his fat man waddle.

“Yea Nikky! Run! Fat boy run!” As soon as Nicholas is out of sight, Kahlan turns towards her saviour. “Oh thank you kind sir, Mister Bodacious! You have my utmost gratitude! You are a hero! You truly are!”

Mister Bodacious snorts and holds his nose just a little higher than before, apparently enjoying the praise being directed towards him. “Think of it as nothing. I am an important man, and very strong. Allow me to assure you if it had come to taking action as my threat stated I would’ve been quite a tiger.”

Kahlan’s careful eyes weighs up Mister Bodacious’ mannerism and how he is handling himself just a little bit closer now. She seems to stand up a little taller herself, her chest pumped out a little bit further out. She gives her lips a sensual lick, drops her raised eyebrow into a phantom of a frown. Her head drops a little and she looks up at Mister Bodacious, batting her lashes. “Oh thank you. You are a new member of the roaster I take it?”

“Absolutely, this company’s management could no longer hold out from begging my services to explode their ratings quadruple times more, maybe even higher than that, who knows, people are always being born. I could have more fans still.”

Kahlan’s smile widens, and her voice takes on a sultry edge, “How wonderful, allow me to extend my hand in a gesture for true and long lasting professional relationship, maybe more. I would love to see you compete and indeed be a partner in your no doubt, jaw dropping matches to come.”


TBCB Mister Bodacious

[Rhaps]

Mister Bodacious looks at the ceiling, Kahlan’s compliments still ringing in his ears as they add validation to his existence. He looks excited before running off quickly, leaving the confused diva to stare at the space he once occupied. The camera pans over as it follows him. The Bodacious One begins swearing loudly to himself as his head disappears into a chest and a few items are casually thrown to the ground. After a few more curses and thrown items, Mister Bodacious re-emerges with a manic grin on his face. He is clearly pleased with himself and he skips back over to the blue haired vixen giddily. She looks down to see a title belt made from cardboard. The words ‘Everything Champion’ have been scrawled on it in red marker pen, but the effect makes it look as if it was done by a ten year old. Despite this, Mister Bodacious holds his prize over his head, basking in fictional adulation before placing it on his shoulder.

Mister Bodacious: This here is the fabled Everything Championship. As you can see, it was crafted from the finest leather and is encrusted with twenty seven flawless diamonds of truly stunning clarity. If you look closely enough at them, it is said that together they bend time and space, thus enabling you to glimpse into the future. I did it this morning and I saw myself being crowned King of this federation. In fact, I shall consult the oracles once more.

Mister Bodacious takes the cardboard title belt and holds it an inch from his face, his brow furrowing in concentration as he gazes upon it. Kahlan gives him a quizzical look, managing to catch a glimpse of the title’s precious jewels. They consist of blue circles crudely drawn onto it in crayon. The Hyper Sensation continues to do this for a few moments before lowering the belt and laughing triumphantly.

Mister Bodacious: You there, blue haired siren. I have doth seen the future!

Kahlan takes a step back as he gives his hands a flourish and spreads them widely, pointing to the sky as if challenging the very gods themselves to defy his earthly predictions. A few of the more sensible crew members have ducked out of sight as Mister Bodacious continues his rant.

Mister Bodacious: I have been ordained, chosen by fate to be the King of this fetid realm. I shall bring a cleansing light and all shall bow before my magnificence and the majesty of the Everything Championship. I have been gifted with powers no mere mortal can comprehend and one simple punch could fell an entire forest. And you, Katie will be a servant to this glorious king. You shall serve as my hench wench!

Kahlan seems slightly amused by his outburst and openly laughs. Mister Bodacious pauses when he notices this and rounds on the diva, anger flashing across his face. A small amount of spittle flies from his mouth as he rants inaudibly to himself, earning more laughter from his so called hench wench.

Mister Bodacious: You dare mock the King of EVPW! You shall be the first to taste my steel!

Mister Bodacious balls his fist and swings it dramatically for a few seconds before blasting Kahlan with every ounce of strength he can muster. In his mind’s eye, the diva before him recoils and begins begging for mercy from his most royal majesty. In reality, his punch bounces off her shoulder gently and she shakes her head sadly.

TBC ?