Post by marc on Jun 16, 2008 13:25:26 GMT -4
((Warning some of the things described below might not be appropriate for all readers. Reader's discretion is advised.))
The scene opens on the tape library at uWe Headquarters in Toronto, Canada. It’s very early Friday morning, sixteen hours before the start of the Pay Per View to be exact. Oddly, the lights are still on at this early hour of the morning. One would have thought that the staff would have gone home. We walk in the front door, as we pass the front desk, the young blond 19 year old, who usually mans the front desk is laying slumped over the desk. As the cameraman moves to wake her up we see pieces of wood scattered on the table. As he looks over the table the remains of a broken guitar are seen on the ground. As we move further along the hallway, we see a man in a, now torn and ruined, suit laying on the floor with blood marks on his face. Lying next to him is a belt with a Lynyrd Skynyrd buckle. The man clearly didn’t see it coming. Now we walk into the room where the tapes are. Sitting on the couch facing the large T.V. with his arms stretched across and a beer in his right hand and a remote in his left, could only be one person. His shaggy blond hair gives him away, as well as the sound of his voice. It also helps that lying behind the couch in front of the cameraman is a black Lynyrd Skynyrd t-shirt and a pair of red women’s pants. All around the room are shelves upon shelves, upon shelves with tapes on them. In the corner lies a man against a broken shelf buried under all the tapes from that shelf. On the television seems to be a match of some sort. While we’re trying to figure out which match it is, a remark from Ronnie grabs our attention.
Ronnie: Come on babe, hit the spot. Here, put this one in next.
Michelle: But Ronnie, how the hell am I supposed to hit your spot when you keep interrupting me to switch tapes.
For the first time we see Michelle Cage, as she sits back on her heels and wipes her mouth on her arm. Because of the couch all we can see is Michelle’s baby pink coloured bra. Ronnie grabs a tape from next to him and hands it to Michelle, motioning for her to put it in the VHS player. Michelle stands revealing a matching baby pink thong. She puts the tape into the player and turns around. Ronnie motions for her to come sit on his lap. He takes a swig of his beer and hands it to her as she turns to face away. As Michelle starts to sit, Ronnie grabs the thong and nudges it to the right. As Michelle sits, she moans a little. Michelle hands the beer back to Ronnie after taking a sip herself. Ronnie finishes it and throws it into a pile that is starting to build. Michelle moves up and down and continues to moan every so often. Ronnie turns up the volume to drown out the sound of her moaning.
Ronnie pauses the tape, kisses his wife on the neck and motions her off. The sound of his zipper being done up can be heard as a sigh comes from the very uncomfortable cameraman.
Ronnie: Jake Rifle, tonight, or rather this morning, Ah think we shall start with yew. Because yew truly are the biggest loser in this match. Ah have now completed my research. Ah can tell yew this. Yew have eight wins and fourteen losses. Ah’ve seen yore little list. Every person yew beat, is either a washed up veteran, or a worthless nobody who isn’t here anymore. Yew have neva beaten Ghetto Gospel, together or separately on yore own and yore only win period against them was with the World Champion on yore side. Yew are a one time, yes only one, Tag Team Champion, and yew only won thanks tew yore partner. Well, that partner isn’t here to save yew now. Neither is yore bullshit Ministry. They’ve got better things tew do than to help yew. Anyways, yew lost yore titles because yore partner couldn’t handle the match enough and yew had already proven that yew suck at handicap matches. But Ah have to add something Jakey. Yew’ve forgotten something very important. Something we just watched. At Halloween Hell in 2006 on the very first match of the card, yew Jake Rifle lost to Satan’s Superior, Ronnie Cage. Ah’ll let that sink in to your pathetic little brain.
Warren Peace, yore next on mah list. And the only reason yore afta Jakey boy, is because yew’ve beaten him. Hell yew’ve beaten him on multiple occasions. Yew even won the Tag Titles off him. But just like Jakey, yew’ve had a lot of help and tonight, there won’t be any. Yore “God’s Favourite”, well then Ah must be yore worst nightmare, ‘cause Ah’m Satan’s Superior! Yore gonna be beggin tew be mah slave just so that Ah don’t humiliate yew in front of yore Gospel. Well tough fucking luck, Ah have no mercy for a good Christian. Mah Uncle Robbie was a good Christian, and look where it got him, he’s dead! But enough about yew.
On tew the largest, and yet still miniscule threat. Chaos. What a name. That’s where yore mind, body and soul will be when Ah’m done with you. Death by Design? Damn right! It’s death by mah design. The only reason yore even a small threat is because at least yew have some experience. Yew’ve been a singles champion and not just a tag champion. Yew know how to beat a man on his own. Hell yore a tew time World Heavyweight Champion. But allow me to turn that against yew. Yore a TEW TIME FUCKING WOLRD CHAMPION! What in hell’s name are yew doing in a numba one contendas match fore the International Title? This just proves yore a washed up veteran. This is the answer to the question: What have yew done lately? ‘Cause if yew had done something special recently. Yew would be where the Undertaker is right now.
A wise man once said “There’s nothing freer than a bird, just flying wherever he wants to go.” Well, Chaos, Warren Peace and Jake Rifle. Tonight Ah’m a bird. Y’all are gonna see me fly. It’ll be the last thing yew see before Ah land on top of yew for the one, two, three: crushing yore hopes and dreams. ‘Cause this is Anarchy, bitches! And y’all better be ready for it!
Ronnie stands up, collecting his t-shirt, his wife’s pants and top and his belt, draping each over his shoulder. He then picks up his wife, supporting her back with one hand and making her moan with the other. He walks down the hallway, kicks the front door open and carries his wife to his black Dodge Charger with orange racing stripes. The scene fades as the sound of Michael Cole’s voice plays from the VHS player.
END
The scene opens on the tape library at uWe Headquarters in Toronto, Canada. It’s very early Friday morning, sixteen hours before the start of the Pay Per View to be exact. Oddly, the lights are still on at this early hour of the morning. One would have thought that the staff would have gone home. We walk in the front door, as we pass the front desk, the young blond 19 year old, who usually mans the front desk is laying slumped over the desk. As the cameraman moves to wake her up we see pieces of wood scattered on the table. As he looks over the table the remains of a broken guitar are seen on the ground. As we move further along the hallway, we see a man in a, now torn and ruined, suit laying on the floor with blood marks on his face. Lying next to him is a belt with a Lynyrd Skynyrd buckle. The man clearly didn’t see it coming. Now we walk into the room where the tapes are. Sitting on the couch facing the large T.V. with his arms stretched across and a beer in his right hand and a remote in his left, could only be one person. His shaggy blond hair gives him away, as well as the sound of his voice. It also helps that lying behind the couch in front of the cameraman is a black Lynyrd Skynyrd t-shirt and a pair of red women’s pants. All around the room are shelves upon shelves, upon shelves with tapes on them. In the corner lies a man against a broken shelf buried under all the tapes from that shelf. On the television seems to be a match of some sort. While we’re trying to figure out which match it is, a remark from Ronnie grabs our attention.
Ronnie: Come on babe, hit the spot. Here, put this one in next.
Michelle: But Ronnie, how the hell am I supposed to hit your spot when you keep interrupting me to switch tapes.
For the first time we see Michelle Cage, as she sits back on her heels and wipes her mouth on her arm. Because of the couch all we can see is Michelle’s baby pink coloured bra. Ronnie grabs a tape from next to him and hands it to Michelle, motioning for her to put it in the VHS player. Michelle stands revealing a matching baby pink thong. She puts the tape into the player and turns around. Ronnie motions for her to come sit on his lap. He takes a swig of his beer and hands it to her as she turns to face away. As Michelle starts to sit, Ronnie grabs the thong and nudges it to the right. As Michelle sits, she moans a little. Michelle hands the beer back to Ronnie after taking a sip herself. Ronnie finishes it and throws it into a pile that is starting to build. Michelle moves up and down and continues to moan every so often. Ronnie turns up the volume to drown out the sound of her moaning.
Cole: What a reversal by Ronnie Cage! Did you see that, Tazz?
Tazz: Of course I did, Cole. I’m not blind. Jake Rifle attempted a DDT but instead ended up eating turnbuckle. This has proved to be quite an exciting start to Halloween Hell 2006
…
Cole: The Torture Rack Drop! NO! Reversal into a roll up! Here’s the pin! One! Two! Three! Ladies and Gentleman, Ronnie Cage reversed the Torture Rack Drop to pin Jake Rifle and won this evening’s opener!
Tazz: Of course I did, Cole. I’m not blind. Jake Rifle attempted a DDT but instead ended up eating turnbuckle. This has proved to be quite an exciting start to Halloween Hell 2006
…
Cole: The Torture Rack Drop! NO! Reversal into a roll up! Here’s the pin! One! Two! Three! Ladies and Gentleman, Ronnie Cage reversed the Torture Rack Drop to pin Jake Rifle and won this evening’s opener!
Ronnie pauses the tape, kisses his wife on the neck and motions her off. The sound of his zipper being done up can be heard as a sigh comes from the very uncomfortable cameraman.
Ronnie: Jake Rifle, tonight, or rather this morning, Ah think we shall start with yew. Because yew truly are the biggest loser in this match. Ah have now completed my research. Ah can tell yew this. Yew have eight wins and fourteen losses. Ah’ve seen yore little list. Every person yew beat, is either a washed up veteran, or a worthless nobody who isn’t here anymore. Yew have neva beaten Ghetto Gospel, together or separately on yore own and yore only win period against them was with the World Champion on yore side. Yew are a one time, yes only one, Tag Team Champion, and yew only won thanks tew yore partner. Well, that partner isn’t here to save yew now. Neither is yore bullshit Ministry. They’ve got better things tew do than to help yew. Anyways, yew lost yore titles because yore partner couldn’t handle the match enough and yew had already proven that yew suck at handicap matches. But Ah have to add something Jakey. Yew’ve forgotten something very important. Something we just watched. At Halloween Hell in 2006 on the very first match of the card, yew Jake Rifle lost to Satan’s Superior, Ronnie Cage. Ah’ll let that sink in to your pathetic little brain.
Warren Peace, yore next on mah list. And the only reason yore afta Jakey boy, is because yew’ve beaten him. Hell yew’ve beaten him on multiple occasions. Yew even won the Tag Titles off him. But just like Jakey, yew’ve had a lot of help and tonight, there won’t be any. Yore “God’s Favourite”, well then Ah must be yore worst nightmare, ‘cause Ah’m Satan’s Superior! Yore gonna be beggin tew be mah slave just so that Ah don’t humiliate yew in front of yore Gospel. Well tough fucking luck, Ah have no mercy for a good Christian. Mah Uncle Robbie was a good Christian, and look where it got him, he’s dead! But enough about yew.
On tew the largest, and yet still miniscule threat. Chaos. What a name. That’s where yore mind, body and soul will be when Ah’m done with you. Death by Design? Damn right! It’s death by mah design. The only reason yore even a small threat is because at least yew have some experience. Yew’ve been a singles champion and not just a tag champion. Yew know how to beat a man on his own. Hell yore a tew time World Heavyweight Champion. But allow me to turn that against yew. Yore a TEW TIME FUCKING WOLRD CHAMPION! What in hell’s name are yew doing in a numba one contendas match fore the International Title? This just proves yore a washed up veteran. This is the answer to the question: What have yew done lately? ‘Cause if yew had done something special recently. Yew would be where the Undertaker is right now.
A wise man once said “There’s nothing freer than a bird, just flying wherever he wants to go.” Well, Chaos, Warren Peace and Jake Rifle. Tonight Ah’m a bird. Y’all are gonna see me fly. It’ll be the last thing yew see before Ah land on top of yew for the one, two, three: crushing yore hopes and dreams. ‘Cause this is Anarchy, bitches! And y’all better be ready for it!
Ronnie stands up, collecting his t-shirt, his wife’s pants and top and his belt, draping each over his shoulder. He then picks up his wife, supporting her back with one hand and making her moan with the other. He walks down the hallway, kicks the front door open and carries his wife to his black Dodge Charger with orange racing stripes. The scene fades as the sound of Michael Cole’s voice plays from the VHS player.
Cole: Well there you have it. Ronnie Cage has won the match.
END
