Post by Jaggeroth/Jerry/Grimey on Apr 12, 2013 22:42:12 GMT -4
So, I am the site supervisor of security at an Everest college through Guardsmark, a company that believe a christmas photo of the owner and his family in front of a fireplace that gets bigger every year, is what every employee wants instead of a bonus at Christmas time. Now, working at the esteemed and well acredited fly by night College that is Everest, I've had to deal with some serious shit. Let's count, shall we?
1. Today, there was a problem with a student before I got to work. He was in the library and decided that a very high traffic area was the best place to whip it out and commence to jiggaling. Needless to say, his fool proof plan was found out and the chairs in the Library were speckled in self shame. When I got to work, they were combing the building and looking for him cause they knew he hadn't left yet. He had sneaked into the student's office and contined his one man dance. I walked in, gave him the Hulk Hogan "YOU!" stance, and scared the gooey cream right out of him. Needless to say, I was traumatized by the experience of chucking a man half covered in his own goop out the door.
2. When I first started working this beat in July, there was a lot of drama amongst the hispanic girls and the white oger clans. This all came to head when the Ogers decided to settle their differences with the hispanics...and bring baseball bats to threaten a girl the size of my thigh. Needless to say, I had to intervien. One of the two staggering Ogers decided to flee once she heard my creative swearing coming her way, the other did not. She decided to stand her ground and be ghetto with me. Once I informed her that she was white and driving a better car than even the President of the School was driving, she decided to swing her bat at me and thank the lord that the spirit of Bruce Lee was with me that night as I ducked, causing her to shatter the driver side window of the Dean's car. The best part? After I had dispatched of the Orger women, with "nessecary" force, the dean came out and yelled at me for not protecting his car with my head.
3. www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJl0XuDKSjc This video is very, very true.
4. All kinds of street dealers come up to the front door and wait for students to leave at night so they can sell their nasty ass skunk weed at premium prices. Some have tried to pay me off in product so they can stay there and sell, and honestly, skunk weed ain't worth it.
5. Baby daddy drama is a weekly thing. They show up trying to get back together with the girl just long enough to get the tax breaks, and that's it. I've had to get a little...rough with them.
6. I am Security, not a janitor nor an electrician. The staff here at the college seem to think otherwise. Yes, I know how to wire up an outlet or fix a cross section of lighting wires, that doesn't mean they pay me the 1000 an electrician would charge to fix it. Yet they still excpet me to do it every time, and every time I tell them 500 down and just get laughed at me.
So, the whole point of this thread is to bitch about your work experiences. Go forth, and bash your places of emplyment.
1. Today, there was a problem with a student before I got to work. He was in the library and decided that a very high traffic area was the best place to whip it out and commence to jiggaling. Needless to say, his fool proof plan was found out and the chairs in the Library were speckled in self shame. When I got to work, they were combing the building and looking for him cause they knew he hadn't left yet. He had sneaked into the student's office and contined his one man dance. I walked in, gave him the Hulk Hogan "YOU!" stance, and scared the gooey cream right out of him. Needless to say, I was traumatized by the experience of chucking a man half covered in his own goop out the door.
2. When I first started working this beat in July, there was a lot of drama amongst the hispanic girls and the white oger clans. This all came to head when the Ogers decided to settle their differences with the hispanics...and bring baseball bats to threaten a girl the size of my thigh. Needless to say, I had to intervien. One of the two staggering Ogers decided to flee once she heard my creative swearing coming her way, the other did not. She decided to stand her ground and be ghetto with me. Once I informed her that she was white and driving a better car than even the President of the School was driving, she decided to swing her bat at me and thank the lord that the spirit of Bruce Lee was with me that night as I ducked, causing her to shatter the driver side window of the Dean's car. The best part? After I had dispatched of the Orger women, with "nessecary" force, the dean came out and yelled at me for not protecting his car with my head.
3. www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJl0XuDKSjc This video is very, very true.
4. All kinds of street dealers come up to the front door and wait for students to leave at night so they can sell their nasty ass skunk weed at premium prices. Some have tried to pay me off in product so they can stay there and sell, and honestly, skunk weed ain't worth it.
5. Baby daddy drama is a weekly thing. They show up trying to get back together with the girl just long enough to get the tax breaks, and that's it. I've had to get a little...rough with them.
6. I am Security, not a janitor nor an electrician. The staff here at the college seem to think otherwise. Yes, I know how to wire up an outlet or fix a cross section of lighting wires, that doesn't mean they pay me the 1000 an electrician would charge to fix it. Yet they still excpet me to do it every time, and every time I tell them 500 down and just get laughed at me.
So, the whole point of this thread is to bitch about your work experiences. Go forth, and bash your places of emplyment.
