Post by Rhaps on Apr 20, 2012 19:11:00 GMT -4
The promo begins with Rhaps standing in a kitchen, staring at the camera excitedly. The camera follows the SIC Maniac as he turns on the spot and heads over to a cupboard behind him at knee height. He kneels down and opens the door, looking inside it for something. A few seconds pass before Rhaps finally emerges with a cereal box in his hands. The cover art shows three children enjoying the cereal. The food itself consists of small strawberry lumps of pure confection with salt flakes sprinkled on it. The milk has turned an unhealthy shade of purple.
Rhaps: Well hello there EVPW fans. Welcome to another product placement advertisement with the Safety Ranger himself. He’s here to show to you his new cereal, SIC Flakes. It is an amazing new product that can be used to stimulate young Children’s minds. Rhaps can hear you asking how and here is the answer. This cereal takes small lumps of Strawberry Ice Cream and dries it out before placing artificial sugars and preservatives. Then we place small lumps of sugar and embed them in each SIC flake before sprinkling more artificial sweetener and sugar on top to get one bowl of hyper awesomeness. This is just the ticket if you want to help your children be more alive and vibrant in the mornings and helps them learn more through being more active and awake in the mornings. But don’t listen to Rhapsy, watch this.
Rhaps steps to one side and offers his hands out heartily, offering the viewer to witness the awesomeness that is this product placement ad. The scene opens up with children sitting lazily and listlessly in class. The students themselves are bored by their teacher and the class itself. As the teacher drones on, Rhaps suddenly bursts in through the window, brandishing two boxes of SIC Flakes and twenty bowls all strapped to his belt. The children are suddenly awake as Rhaps begins throwing bowls at the students, many of them smashing against the walls or tables as the children are too slow to react. Some of them hit the children in the faces, causing about half the class to start crying.
Rhaps: Shh now Kiddies. You don’t have to listen to this boring teacher anymore. You don’t really need to learn about history anyway. Rhaps can give you a brief history of America. Britain colonised you, and then you kicked us out, ungrateful people you lot are. And as for the Boston Tea Party, you lot ruined good Tea. We could have been having Tea with our crumpets that morning but no, you lot had to dump it in the harbour. But that was Two Hundred Years ago. Now you have Rhapsy and his SIC Flakes. Now come up here and enjoy.
The children scratch their hands at Rhaps’ historical rant but are more than excited at the prospect of free food. They all rush up and begin pressing in around the Hyper Sensation as men climb in through the remains of the window with fresh bowls and milk. The children soon have a bowl of awesome yumminess as they begin eating the confection. After the first spoonful hits their tongues, they suddenly go crazy as the new found Sugar Junkies begin the biggest sugar rush of their lives. The teacher looks helpless as her class begins to wreck the classroom. A few of the taller children start body slamming their shorter classmates and laughing randomly.
As Rhaps watches the action, some of the children collapse around him. The look of satisfaction fades as the entire class crumples to the floor. The worried teacher rushes up to one particular student and opens his eyes. His legs are twitching rapidly and the teacher looks up at Rhaps.
Rhaps: Rhaps didn’t realise the kid was diabetic.
Teacher: He isn’t
Rhaps: Well he probably is now
Rhaps sighs to himself as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a business card. He hands it over to the teacher and rolls his eyes all knowingly. The teacher has a quick look at the card and her face creases in thought.
Rhaps: Rhaps has been in position a lot. That’s the number for his attorney. He’ll presumably see you in court.
The scene cuts back to Rhaps standing in the kitchen with the same inane grin on his face in spite of what was just seen. He winks happily as he picks up the box of cereal once more and models it, going for the hard sell.
Rhaps: Well folks if you wanted coma inducing tastiness, this is the cereal for you. It tastes great, its packed full of energy and sugar and can really help you lose weight and the last week of your memory. Other than that, it’s practically a wonder product. Try some SIC Flakes today.
Voice Over: Rhaps Products, hurting your children since 2006.
EoT - Comments Welcome
Rhaps: Well hello there EVPW fans. Welcome to another product placement advertisement with the Safety Ranger himself. He’s here to show to you his new cereal, SIC Flakes. It is an amazing new product that can be used to stimulate young Children’s minds. Rhaps can hear you asking how and here is the answer. This cereal takes small lumps of Strawberry Ice Cream and dries it out before placing artificial sugars and preservatives. Then we place small lumps of sugar and embed them in each SIC flake before sprinkling more artificial sweetener and sugar on top to get one bowl of hyper awesomeness. This is just the ticket if you want to help your children be more alive and vibrant in the mornings and helps them learn more through being more active and awake in the mornings. But don’t listen to Rhapsy, watch this.
Rhaps steps to one side and offers his hands out heartily, offering the viewer to witness the awesomeness that is this product placement ad. The scene opens up with children sitting lazily and listlessly in class. The students themselves are bored by their teacher and the class itself. As the teacher drones on, Rhaps suddenly bursts in through the window, brandishing two boxes of SIC Flakes and twenty bowls all strapped to his belt. The children are suddenly awake as Rhaps begins throwing bowls at the students, many of them smashing against the walls or tables as the children are too slow to react. Some of them hit the children in the faces, causing about half the class to start crying.
Rhaps: Shh now Kiddies. You don’t have to listen to this boring teacher anymore. You don’t really need to learn about history anyway. Rhaps can give you a brief history of America. Britain colonised you, and then you kicked us out, ungrateful people you lot are. And as for the Boston Tea Party, you lot ruined good Tea. We could have been having Tea with our crumpets that morning but no, you lot had to dump it in the harbour. But that was Two Hundred Years ago. Now you have Rhapsy and his SIC Flakes. Now come up here and enjoy.
The children scratch their hands at Rhaps’ historical rant but are more than excited at the prospect of free food. They all rush up and begin pressing in around the Hyper Sensation as men climb in through the remains of the window with fresh bowls and milk. The children soon have a bowl of awesome yumminess as they begin eating the confection. After the first spoonful hits their tongues, they suddenly go crazy as the new found Sugar Junkies begin the biggest sugar rush of their lives. The teacher looks helpless as her class begins to wreck the classroom. A few of the taller children start body slamming their shorter classmates and laughing randomly.
As Rhaps watches the action, some of the children collapse around him. The look of satisfaction fades as the entire class crumples to the floor. The worried teacher rushes up to one particular student and opens his eyes. His legs are twitching rapidly and the teacher looks up at Rhaps.
Rhaps: Rhaps didn’t realise the kid was diabetic.
Teacher: He isn’t
Rhaps: Well he probably is now
Rhaps sighs to himself as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a business card. He hands it over to the teacher and rolls his eyes all knowingly. The teacher has a quick look at the card and her face creases in thought.
Rhaps: Rhaps has been in position a lot. That’s the number for his attorney. He’ll presumably see you in court.
The scene cuts back to Rhaps standing in the kitchen with the same inane grin on his face in spite of what was just seen. He winks happily as he picks up the box of cereal once more and models it, going for the hard sell.
Rhaps: Well folks if you wanted coma inducing tastiness, this is the cereal for you. It tastes great, its packed full of energy and sugar and can really help you lose weight and the last week of your memory. Other than that, it’s practically a wonder product. Try some SIC Flakes today.
Voice Over: Rhaps Products, hurting your children since 2006.
EoT - Comments Welcome
