The Hyper Night Line!

[Hyperelf]

Jimmy Pate: Welcome back, everyone! Decimation, the return of EVPW has been absolutely amazing so far.

Ray White: And it's only going to get better!

JP: I can't argue with that.

The lights cut off suddenly. With the only source of light being from the audience members phones. The crowd excited about what could possibly happen next on this awesome rebirth of their favorite show. Lights reappear, but of a blue color. The glow revealing some couches and chairs resting in the ring. A big sign rested in the corner of the screen on a turnbuckle with a phrase. Yet before anyone had a chance to read it. The white show lights glared back in the arena, and the song "Never Gonna Stop" by Rob Zombie echoes for all to hear in the stadium.
The audience roaring with approval. Knowing what is about to come through the curtains. And there he was kicking his way through, taunting the crowd, soaking in the positive vibe. Hyperelf, dressed in his usual blue tights and trench coat, begins his stroll down the ramp.

JP: I didn't expect this guy to return tonight!

Ray is seen squeeling, climbing onto the table with his hands in the air.

JP: GET YOUR ASS DOWN AND ACT LIKE A PROFESSIONAL!

Hyperelf, now in the ring with a microphone, waits for the crowd to quiet down. Chants echo from all over with the strongest one being, "One More Match." He takes his presence on top of one of the four turnbuckles, lifting his mic from his side, to his lips. The audience starting to quiet down in anticipation. What will be the first words Hyper will say in his return. Which catchphrase will he use? What kind of cheap pop is he going to go with? Why haven't they seen any donuts appear?

Hyper takes a deep breath. The anticipation is really starting to kill people. Literally, someone just fell over in section 21, row 4, seat 15. Paramedics show up on the scene to make sure the person is alright. Yep, the poor guy has a strong case of Anticipatory Anxiety. Good job, Hyper. You finally return, only to cause problems.

"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

JP: What...?

Ray: HIIIIII!

The audience doesn't know what to do. They look so confused.

JP: Did... Did he forget what he was going to say? I think he forgot his own catch phrases. I think he's starting to go senile.

Ray: That's his charm!

JP: Senile? Senile is his charm? You know what... Actually, that makes perfect sense. You're right. I can't believe I'm agreeing with you again. But you're right. I'm thinking back, and he really always has been senile. How does he even have a job here?

"Well, okay. Now that is off my chest. EVERYONE. I would like to welcome you to the very first, may be the last, I don't know! We will see how this one goes, THE HYPER NIGHT LINE!"

As he demonstrates the half-ass made sign in the corner made out of cardboard boxes and drawn with a marker.

"I will be going through the minds of the most dangerous of wrestlers here in the EVPW. I'll ask the hard questions. And golly gee, we will get answers!"

He takes a seat in one of the sofa's. Smashes a button on the side that turns it into a recliner.

"SO... Without further ado. Here is our first guest!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------
TBC by whomever

Rules: Anybody can jump in on this. In case of multiple people are trying to make posts. Be sure to reserve a spot first so someone knows you are working on something.

I'm hoping this will be a way to get a more simple but engaging roleplay amongst many people at once. Or just between me and whoever. Like I said, any and all can jump in on this. Let the fun begin!

PS: I forgot how fun this is.

[TPK/Acid]

As the fans eagerly anticipate Hype's first guest, the sound of trumpets can be heard, causing the fans to become slightly confused. As the horns cease, Hyper glances to the stage, in anticipation. The trumpets cease, and become replaced by Just Dropped In by Kenny Rogers. The Knights of the Squared Circle push aside the entrance curtain, and begin moving in unison down the ramp, and towards the ring.

JP: What's this now? I knew we were going to hear from these guys at some point, but I never dreamed it would be quite this soon! This ought to get interesting in a hurry!

Ray:I'm not going to lie, the sight of two grown ass men in armor is turning me on WAY more than it should! I'm even finding that repulsive TPK to be quite the hansom devil. What's up with David Diamond though? He's just wearing a t-shirt and jeans...booooooring.

TPK leads, his hands behind his back, with Acid and Diamond flanking him. Once they reach the bottom of the ramp, the three men proceed to enter the ring in unison, TPK and Acid removing their helms at this point. They lay their headpieces at their feet, and bow to The Hyper One. Acid now grabs a mic, and hands it to his teacher.

TPK: Well, we meet again old friend. I gotta say, feels damn good to be back in this ring, feels even better to get to share it with you. Oh! Before I forget, we come bearing gifts, Ser Diamond, the box if you will...please.

Diamond motions to the top of the ramp, at which point a six man crew wheels three carts loaded with just about any type of donut you can think of toward the ring. Once the crew reach the bottom of the ramp, Acid and TPK hold the ropes open for them, and they hoist the confectionery delights into the ring.

JP: Good lord, those donuts have families damn it!

Ray: Say what?

JP: What? Well, it sounded good at the time.

TPK returns to his previous position in the ring, and begins to pace back and forth whilst the company of men arrange the donuts, which is probabbly a moot point as they won't likely last long with Hyper in the vicinity.

TPK: Alright man, I can't wait to do this. What you got for us?

TBC

[Hyperelf]

Hyper gets out of his chair and slowly makes his way to the donuts that the two men were placing.

"No no no, do it like this."

Hyperelf makes a quick sketch on a piece of cardboard that apparently he had leftover from the sign. Acid takes a look. A little bit confused on why, but then nods his head in approval. Realizing the awesomeness of the idea. The two men go back to placing the donuts with Hype's new formed plan.

"Alright! Yes, first off. I really appreciate the gift. You always know me so well, TPK. But yes, let us get down with this interview. Shall we?"

Ray: Ooohh.. I wonder what kind of questions he's going to ask?

JP: I'm still shocked that Hyper hasn't attacked the pastries yet.

Hyperelf then gestures TPK to take a seat on the sofa. After the waffle lover gets comfortable Hyperelf immediately steps over him with a flashlight in his face.

"WHERE WERE YOU ON THE NIGHT DR. WAFFLELICIOUS WAS MURDERED!?"

TBC

[TPK/Acid]

TPK breaks out in a cold sweat, his gaze shifting from side to side. Matt notices this and approaches. Acid switches focus back and forth between TPK and Hyper, trying to get an assessment on the situation. TPK is now stammering, trying to get an answer to come out, but his nerves betray him.

Matt: Bro, did you ice a dude? Because I heard you say something about waffles earlier, and I am fairly certain I heard a licious in there.


TPK: What!? N...no, I said waffles sound delicious! Besides, I don't ice my waffles, interfers with the syrup and butter.

Acid slowly shakes his head, as TPK let's out a little nervous laughter. Matt's face becomes unusually serious, and he positions himself in front of TPK. Dude slowly rubs his cheek, as he plans his next move.

Acid: Don't change the subject! Where...were you....man!?

TPK: Fine, I did it! I ate his tasty waffley skull, is that what you wanted to hear from me!?

Acid: Hmm, he didn't do it. He was with me, we were binging on Mt. Dew and Ocarina of Time.

TPK goes from nervous o "OH Duh" in mere seconds, as the crowd gets a good chuckle out of the little bit between friends.

TBC

[Hyperelf]

"Oh, nice. I really enjoy that game. Did you guys get through the creepy Shadow temple? That one always gets me. I don't know why-Ow!"

JP threw a perfectly aimed empty soda can across the side of Hyper's head.

JP: Maybe that will get him to shut up, and ask some actual questions! I'm interested to hear what these new guys have to say!

Ray: Leave the poor guy alone. He's meeting with old friends. It's so adorable.

JP: Ray, this is a wrestling show. We are live! In front of a full arena!

Hyperelf not looking pissed, but more amazed.

"Wow! The arm and accuracy you have to able to toss an empty can, that normally would cause it to sway off target due to air resistance. Hats off to you good sir!"

JP: Shut up and get back to questioning!

Ray: Jimmy, I think that was a compliment.

JP: I don't have time for compliments!

"Yes! Actually... Who are you guys? And what are you doing with-well, this guy?"

Hyperelf obviously gesturing Matt Acid and Diamond with TPK.

TBC

[TPK/Acid]

David Diamond, who had been quiet until this point in the proceedings steps forward. 3D positions himself between his two stable mates, puts a hand on each of their shoulders, and studies The Hyper One for a good moment or two. Thinking he's got a grasp on the mystery that is Hyper Elf he lowers his head to the mic.

3D: EVPW said "Yo, we'll give you money." Diamond may be a girls best friend, but buddy money is Diamond's best friend.

As he finishes his thought, David feels three sets of eyes locked on him. 3D simply sighs and shakes his head. Diamond swallows hard, tilts his had back, and attempts to give another answer.

3D: Right, we're here to expel evil forces from EVPW, or some crazy shit like that.

TPK and Aicd somewhat nod, though they wish Diamond would show a bit more enthusiasm

TPK: Wherever there is a damsel in distress we'll be there. Wherever evil reigns over good, we'll be there!

Acid: And wherever there is a guy who just can't finish his large pizza...well we'll be there too!

TPK: No...wait, it'd be rude not to, so YES!

TBC

[Chris Pyro]

As the gathering of numbskulls in the ring continues on, fans falling over laughing at the conversation occuring, the heavy guitars and drums of the metal cover of "The Truth Reigns" by Adam Massacre begins to play. The steady beat leads a lone soldier to the ring, the head of Project Rebirth, Chris Pyro, walking through the crowd. Wearing his militant attire, the lower half of his face covered in a mask with the fangs of a wolf imprinted on them. He marches to the ring, climbing over the guard rail, glaring at the men in the ring.

JP:
Finally! Maybe we'll get somewhere tonight. Pyro is never one for jokes or lightheartedness.

RW:
Of course. He'll really be the party pooper here.

Pyro climbs into the ring, he looks right at the Knights as he walks past them, before looking over at Hyper. He grabs a mic for himself before taking one last look at the oddities in the ring. Looking down, he steps on a nicely placed donut.

Pyro:
Problem?

[mouthman]

The lights dim a little bit and a loud war horn sounds off across the expanse of the building. 

JP: "What was that?"
RW: "I don't know but it scared my boner away."

The fans are also baffled and a little unnerved by the odd occurrence. Trailing a few seconds behind the sound is some ominous music, which alerts everyone to the top of the entrance ramp.  The red velvet curtain cloth moves aside and produces to the masses a most hideous sight. This man whom many will claim a monster steps forth. His size alone - 7 feet tall and 300 pounds - shoots a cold quiver up the spines of those viewing from the stands. The cameraman tasked with getting close ups of wrestlers walking down the ramp refuses to do his duties. The reason? Probably the black long sleeve studded leather, black boots, and silver mask that covers this creature's head, ears, and most of his face except for the mouth area. The entity also carries with him a foul odor - like that of burnt garbage and dead fetus. It is his mouth that gets the most gasps of horror and disgust though. Those teeth, so long and dingy and rotten, can not possibly belong to the mortal man. This person smiles big and causes even more terror among the spectators. His mouth has drawn up and back most unnaturally, with no lips visible. 

JP: "Look at the size of that son of a bitch. Oh god that mouth. Holy shit!"
RW: "I'm scared Jimmy. Hide me"

Ray dips behind Jimmy's chair and becomes religious all of a sudden with some prayer time. The mysterious person strides down the ramp and steps over the top rope into the ring. All of the occupants inside the ring stare at him with different expressions on their faces. None of which are positive. As the ominous music fades, the beast of a man speaks. His voice carries over the masses, dreadful and powerful, without need of a microphone. The strong of his voice could reduce mountains to powder. 

Mouth Man: "I am Mouth Man, Meridous of house Decimus, dweller of Piricia and the Elder Planes. My Host has bidden me to treat with thee this night. He has also bidden me with a message for you Hyper Elf, devourer of donuts, cretin of the ring. The end of the Elves draw nigh. Soon the Orcs shall rise."

Some of the fans start to boo but most stand silently by, scared to put their voices into the matter at hand. 

TBC

[TPK/Acid]

Having heard this all go down, Mat Acid pushes past Pyro, and stands his ground in front of the hulking behemoth that is Mouthman. Acid casually stares up at a sight that would send most men running, and doesn't even blink. Dude glances casualy back at TPK, who nods, before lifting a mic to his lips and responding.

Acid: We, The Knights of the Squared Circle, are friend to the elves...which means you can fuck right on off!

JP: Oh wow, not a smart move.

Matt sticks his pointer finger right into Moutman's bony chest, and pokes away like a woodpecker. At this point, David Diamond is freaking out, and promptly exits the ring and heads back to the locker room area.

Acid: So, you, me, Genesis. I ain't asking you...I'm telling you! Show your ass up, or I'll come find you.

TPK: So, Hyper. Now that this ugly dude is here. That's sort of what we were saying earlier, we take care of things like THAT. Also Pyro, good to see you, still a dick I see. That's cool.

TBC

[Kasabian Stalker]

"COME WITH ME..."

The all too familiar metallic voice rings out around the arena, interrupting the back and forth of the conversation with its unexpected arrival. Soon after, the cheesy synthesiser of 'Bones' by The Killers booms out of the speakers, announcing the arrival of everybody's most bastardly Pervert.

His swansong playing him into the arena, soon the shiny bald scalp of Kasabian Stalker is seen piercing through the entranceway, purple and pink lighting catching atop the oiled up skin. He walks with determination, holding a microphone in his hand and a glint in his eye. All other competitors in the ring look on as the former Imperial Champion makes his way toward them. When he finds himself at the bottom of the ramp, looking up at the array of men in the ring, the Pervert raises the mike to his mouth and begins.

"Look at all of these people in one place, at one time..." The unpredictable Stalker begins. "Did we have a party and not invite little old Kasabian?"

With that, he rolls into the ring, quickly coming up to a vertical base to continue his spiel. He raises the microphone, looking around the ring as he does so. His face, up till now filled with enthusiasm and hope, slowly begins to fade into a disgusted scowl.

"What kind of party is this?" He barks down the microphone, casting judgement around the ring. "Everybody still has clothes on their backs and their keys in their pockets. "I hear talk of donuts and waffles, thinking it is code for some kind of lovin', but come out here to find an absolute sausage fest."

The Pervert looks around once more, stepping back to create a bit of space between him and his closest opponent. With the small circle of space he had created, the Pervert proceeds to tug at his button-up stripper pants, causing the buttons to pull at the side and the pants to part in twain. Stalker tosses the two halves of the garment aside, standing in the centre of the ring in just a t-shirt and man-thong.

"Well, if you guys are game." Stalker removes the white t-shirt, pulling a peck-pop for good measure as he checks out his own baby-oiled skin. "I am game."

With that, Stalker begins gyrating at the hips, directing his man-meat in the direction of whomever happens to be closest to him. Hyperelf catches more than an eye-full, as does TPK. Both men stand frozen to the spot, looking more petrified of the python than when Mouthman joined the fray. Stalker then prances across the ring to wave his thong in the direction of Pyro, but stops half way, having noticed the Orcish Mouthman for the first time.

The mere sight of the man mountain alone is enough to 'deflate' the excited Stalker, his gyrating dance stopping mid-stride before he squares up, turns face to face with the newcomer and looks up.

"Ho-leee shit...." Stalker utters in amazement. "Did somebody skull fuck you a little too hard? You are one ugly son of a bitch! Who the hell invited you to the party?"

Stalker waits for a reply that does not come. After a few awkward moments, Kasabian speaks once more.

"I mean, I'll try anything once. I'm nothing if not adventurous in my love life. I just have one question... Is everything... in proportion?"

The question nearly makes Ray White fall off his announcing chair, the mere thought of Mouthman's one eyed orc enough to send shivers down one's spine. Seemingly naive to the inevitable beating that this line of questioning and choice of attire is about to yield Kasabian, the Pervert simply bites his bottom lip and does his best to look seductively at the man monster.

TBC

[mouthman]

Before Mouth Man had a chance to accurse Matt Acid for his insolence, the Pervert made his presence felt. The mountain from the Elder Planes holds his resolve as the bald headed buffoon makes a "sausage" out of himself. That is, until the sexual deviant turned his words upon whom he should not. The horrid mouth of the giant widens to a terrifying new level as the unwisened toe-rag finishes his string of insults. 

Mouth Man: "Thee inquires about mine invitation? The Host made it so therefor I came. I know not what you speak of with proportions, but I do know one thing. I am a few points away from leveling up, and you look like just enough XP."

The decree had been made. His fate was sealed. Mouth Man grabs hold of Stalker's sizable groin and testicles, and twists them in a manner that could only be seen as barbaric. Kasbian screams like the girl he is inside but that sound turns to a groan then a moan of lust. The sick fucker is enjoying it. Mouth Man distinctly hears him say "Mmm now we're talking. Make me feel it" as he lifts the smaller man into the air by just his groin area. Everyone moves out of the way as the Servant of the Host plods forward and releases Stalker over the top rope to the outside floor, where he lands hard on his backside. 

Mouth Man snaps his head back toward Matt Acid and slowly walks up to him.

Mouth Man: "I discarded he who hurls insults. That was a premonition I bidden to thee. And do know this, death seeker. You knights are no friend of the elves. You are dead like the elves. Such a pitty that your physical form does not match your enormous bravery. You would survive if it were so. I do not accept your challenge because you can not present me one, however I shall expend much of your blood on this canvas come Genesis, that much I can decree."

He confirms the match with the fearless man by giving him a hard one handed shove that sends him stumbling back into one of the tables that has the donuts on them. It tips over spilling them onto the canvas. While this happens, Stalker regroups on the outside and stands up. A creepy smile stretches his face, giving off the vibe that what Mouth Man did to him was foreplay and welcomed. Perhaps he even enjoyed it.

TBC Whoever

OOC - By all means return the favor Stalker. You too Matt Acid. 

[Kasabian Stalker]

Kasabian indeed does smile, looking up at the man mountain, Mouthman. He then looks over at the remaining competitors in the ring. One man in particular catches his eye.

"Look!" Kasabian bellows, his voice breaking from the agony his testicles had gone through. Pointing at the upturned table and the mess of donuts and waffles.

"Hyperelf..." The Pervert catches the legend's attention. "That prick just spilled the donuts!"

TBC

[Hyperelf]

JP: What in the world is going on? I feel like a fist fight is about to happen!

Ray: All these gorgeous men out here. Well, except that one freak. I'd love to see them just start rubbing some lotion on one another. That would be fabulous!

Hyperelf looks over at the spilled donuts, and turns his head back at the new large figure that he's never witnessed in his life. His head begins to shake in anger. Wrinkles appear on his forehead. The glare he was giving the orcish creature seemed more menacing, more evil than anything in this world has ever witnessed.

JP: By Golly, I think Hyper is getting ready to snap!

Even TPK took a step back till, Hyper realized...

"Oh, that's nothing. Donuts are still good. Even on the floor!"

He makes his way to the donuts, and grabs half a dozen in a single swoop of his hand. The legend Plops down on the mat, and leans against the ropes. Eating each donut one by one. His mouth gurgling with delight.

"Wow! These are freaking delicious my Waffle-loving friend! Where did you get these? Ya know what, I don't want to know. They'll go out of business if I find out."

After finishing the donuts, and licking his fingers of the icing. He asks all the men that came down here tonight.

"So, moving on with the show. Who wants to guess what this guys parents must look like?"

He says as he points toward Mouthman.

TBC

[Chris Pyro]

Pyro looks over at Hyper as he tries not to laugh at the bizzare group of wrestlers in the ring.

Pyro:
Can't be any worse than your parents, Hyperelf.

The Strategist of Project Rebirth then looks to the big monstrosity that has come to the ring.

Pyro:
Seeing as we are not at war with you, Mouth Man, there is nothing to treat. How about you go back to your master with this message; You sent a child with no experience, into the ring with a man whose evil far exceeds that of your puppet. I have danced with the dead, and butchered the living. You, Mouth Man, create no fear. Just disgust.

The Demon with the Smile then looks at TPK and his Knights. Trying not to fall over laughing, he pulls a jar of maple syrup from his pocket.

Pyro:
If I'm a dick, than this must have been a mistake. The finest of Canadian maple syrup, goes great with any waffle or donut. Seeing as you were so rude, I'll find a better use for it.

[Saul Ledgett]

? : STOP! STOP EVERYTHING! THIS ALL GETS SHUT DOWN NOW!

The voice, clear as day, booms through the PA and from the back an unfamiliar man in red leather jacket steps out, white with unbrushed hair, microphone in one hand, shiny-looking briefcase with the other. All men standing in the ring are clearly confused as to the identity of the man hastily making his way to the ring, but the briefcase looked important, so obviously the man holding it was by default right? Upon arrival at the foot of the ramp, the man in red picks up into a short sprint and slides across the ring mat in frighteningly invasive fashion, shooting upright and dusting himself off as he checks himself out, breaking into a wide grin and holding his hand out.

?  : “Saul Ledgett, legal representative among other things.”

Before anyone can even begin to shake Saul’s hand, he had already turned his back on the lot of them and stepped over to the nearest turnbuckle, placing his briefcase down on it and beginning to pop the locks, opening it whilst humming steadily. Casually looking around him, Saul almost jumps out of his skin as he looks up at the monstrous Mouthman, only for a moment, before grinning widely.

Saul Ledgett: “Good god man, you’re hideous. I love it!”

Turning his attention back to the briefcase, Saul pulls out a stack of very white papers, immediately stabbing his finger at Hyper Elf.

Saul Ledgett: “Now what did you tell him, did you tell him anything? Anything at all? Of course you did, you ALL did! Don’t you know you can’t say anything to anyone without legal representation?”

The ring falls awkwardly silence, aside from mysterious chattering of teeth.

Saul Ledgett: “Well say something, you’re all looking GUILTY already!”

Saul glances down at the ring mat, which had now become a donut place of death, then back at Chris Pyro with maple syrup in hand, then back at Kasabian Stalker, who seemingly licks his lips syrup or no syrup.


Saul Ledgett: “Guilty! Guilty! Guilty!”


TBC:  Anyone... superkicks are approved.